I don't feel the same

[webster1987]

So my DS is 17 months old and is my only child with DH. I also have a DSD8 and DSS11.

For the first year of my son's life, I was so in awe of him and felt such intense love. All the lovely things people talk about and I truly couldn't believe how lucky I was. He has always been an 'easy' baby, sleeps well and has such a sweet and happy personality.

What's bothering me at the moment is that I just don't feel that anymore. I love him more than anything but I don't enjoy being around him as much. I used to get so excited for our days together (im part time) but now I see the 4 days looming when it's just me and him (DH works EOW) and I don't look forward to it. I don't know how to entertain him, I get bored of trying to entertain him as it takes so much to keep him engaged and he gets easily frustrated now, which in turn makes me frustrated. Then I just feel like a shitty mum. He doesn't want my attention as much either anymore, often choosing DH or DSD, and I worry we've lost our bond a little.

Has anyone else experienced this? Will it change?

Sure it’ll change. You love him that’s the main thing. Maybe toddler just isn’t your age. I didn’t like the toddler stage either, but enjoyed (as well as loved and adored) mine when they were older and we could do cooler stuff together, not chained to naps and nappies etc.

Yes, completely normal, every developmental stage has it challenges and the stage you're at is one where desire and ability are not in balance, so it's a tightrope of contentment.

Reach out, pull in people like you at a similar stage, you need adult company to keep you same through this... add in any colour and interest you can until, before you know it, you're baking and going bike rides together and it's fun again.