Do you play with your kids?

[febbabies2023]

Do you play with your children? Specifically if they're toddlers between about 18m to 4 maybe?

I feel like I am constantly having to play with DS who has just turned 3 and he's almost incapable of playing by himself for more than 5 mins without getting annoyed or bored

But then when I don't play with him I feel guilty that I should be!

So, realistically how much should I be playing with him, what's the norm here so I can try and find a fair balance between being with him and actually sorting out my shithole of a house 🙃

My nearly 4 year old is the same can never play on her own for more than 5 mins I try and encourage her to play on her own more as I also have a baby wen he's a sleep I spend most of my time with her x

Play with him (or do activities together, doesn't have to be play as such) for a period of time everyday. He should have at least an equal amount of time to play by himself, learning to entertain yourself is an essential skill.

How much time that is will depend on how much time you spend at home. I'd try and be out for at least a few hours everyday.

I do play with him (hiding is currently his favourite game) but it's not all day every day. He's quite happy to play by himself for quite long periods of time.

He's 20 months old (not being a dick by stating age in months - there's just a vast difference between a one year old and a two year old).

I read this book and it was eye opening. Its all about why children play (to understand the world around them, to process emotions, etc). How you can use play in a positive way for both parent and child. Its quite american in bits, but it literally changed the way i soent time with my dc.

DD is nearly 4 and I play with her a lot when she is home. At the weekend we will probably be doing something together for 4+ hrs or so each afternoon- not continuously obviously, but she likes a lot of imaginative play that includes me. Of course some days we are out or we do something like baking instead, so it’s not always play, but she does love me to be Penny from fireman sam or Wendy from Bob the builder a lot. My favourite is Doctors though as I just lie on the sofa and get covered in plasters.

I don’t work Monday’s and yesterday we went out for lunch at a place with a large play area and sandpit, I was involved in an elaborate Bob the builder themed sand build for 2hrs with her. I do enjoy it though and I know that it won’t last!

She does play by herself too and we recently got 2 kittens and they are a godsend as she will play with them for ages which helps if I have jobs to do.

Fortunately she is at nursery 4 long days a week so I don’t have to keep it up daily! Which gives me the energy and enthusiasm for our time together.

I went to a session recently with a play specialist and he stressed the importance and significance when children invite you in to their play. It has all sorts of positive effects on the brain.

Thank you all it's helpful to see what other people do!

I probably should have said - I do also have a baby who's just turning 5m old so trying to juggle playing constantly with the babies needs can be tough - naturally the 3 year old gets jealous and demanding when I need to care for baby

He is also at nursery 3 long days too so he gets lots of play and independence there

Normally I try and do 1 day at home (Monday) and one day out doing activities (soft play, role play centre, park etc on a Tuesday)

I do struggle with the constant mess as well. I know I need to let it go a little more and do more messy play or baking etc but the mess drives me over the edge

DD is 20 months and I play with her quite a lot, but we also go out twice a day and some is not really play I suppose. She also has a pretty short attention span at this age. We:

• build and knock down towers
• put mega blocks together and take them apart
• play peekaboo or hide and seek
• dance to songs with actions
• read books
• mess about with play dough
• have tea parties
• “play” musical instruments
• dress and undress dolls and teddies
• play chase and tickle
• watch for planes/ squirrels/ birds out of the window
• colour with crayons
• One of us knocks on doors in our house and the other opens them from the other side

She also plays herself a lot:

• splashing at sink
• filling and emptying cups in the bath
• “cleaning” with a dry cloth
• moving her cars around
• putting things into and out of bags or boxes or her shopping basket
• pushing dolls in the pram
• trying to put her shoes on
• playing with play kitchen
• climbing on sofa or bed
• spinning round and round til she is dizzy

She also asks for tv a lot and we probably watch too much.

Hi, do you mind me asking the title of the book?

The book is Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen.

Dc1 needed constant play attention. She would just not independently play at all and would prefer folding laundry with me than giving me 5 seconds peace! But dc2 does independently play a lot and plays with his sister. It's quite an odd feeling to sit down and be able to rest for 10 minutes when they are playing together.

DS played beautifully independently until he was 2y9m. What happened then you ask…. He became an older brother!!! Suddenly wanted loads of attention. So naturally I gave him as much as I humanly could. I was exhausted and constantly felt guilty. So it might be the baby OP!

Prior to that, I’d just “set up” games for him and he’d go from there. So I’d build a few basic duplo things and he’d carry it on, or I’d set up some figurines in a certain way and he’d carry it on. Etc.

As little as I can get away with! I have to constantly play with DD (14 months) as she will never, ever play alone she just follows me around crying if I try to do anything else. Really fun trying to look after 2 other kids and keep on top of housework!!

My other 2 weren’t like this. Ds1 was happy to quietly play with his toys as long as I was around. Ds2 was always more interested in playing with his brother than me.

And on the odd occasion she is independently playing and I manage to sneak out of the room she’s perfectly happy! Until I come back in, she sees me and starts crying! I only hope she gets better as she gets older.

@Diddykong he's always wanting to 'help' too. Load the dishwasher, do the washing and fold it up, hoover. I shouldn't complain really but he's so slow 😂

@ReeseWitherfork he's always been rubbish at independent play but it probably is worse now the babies here too you're probably right

@SoGiveMeCoffeeAndTV this is me, I'd like to do as little as possible, it's so incredibly boring! Well to me of course. Part of me wants to play so I spend time with him but the other half of me wants him to leave me alone for 5 bloody minutes 🫣

Thank you

I could never cope with imaginative play. I just don't have it in me.

Posted too soon. Always happy to set them up with water/playdough/train tracks/ craft etc, provided friends to play with, toybox etc though. We chatted, sang, danced, walked, read books, hung out with family, collected conkers, did brass rubbings, baked cakes, did colouring etc but a big nope to joining in their imaginary games. They grew up just fine thankfully.