Four year old doesn’t seem to like me

[bethanie21]

First time posting and i’m really not sure what to do

I have a 4yo dd and a 6 week old dd - aware some of the behaviour may be due to new sibling but this behaviour started a bit before

4yo is a very bright , chatty , outgoing little girl , can be very excitable and not the best listener but overall well behaved

So on days she is not at school / nursery she starts the morning by immediately asking where we are going today - she hates staying inside and likes to be out , that’s fine.

However , unless we are doing things with certain people she then won’t take part - so has to be her one best friend or her cousins.

For example, today she asked where we are going , I told her there was a fun day happening at her riding school.

She loves horse riding , and they were having an event with tombolas , pony rides , face painting , i’ve cream - the works !

We pull up and she’s saying how much fun it all looks and what she wants to do etc.

Anyway we get out the car she’s all smiles and start walking round - she asks where so and so is (previously mentioned people) I let her know they aren’t coming , we have just come to have fun - and that’s it , she doesn’t want to do anything , no i’ve cream won’t have a pony ride won’t walk round , nothing.

So in the end I get so frustrated , I put us all back in the car , we were there under 10 minutes.

I keep asking her why she didn’t want to do anything and she just responds with “cos i didn’t “ - ask if she wants to go home and she just shrugs

I honestly just came home and cried

Sounds like normal 4 year old behaviour. Either lie they are coming so you can enjoy the event or tell the truth and when they are bored at home tell them what they could of been doing.

It's a phase, mine used to be annoying with wanting her brothers toy but couldn't as he was playing with it, but could have it when he is done ... when he was done, it was NOOO I don't want it and a tantrum even though they had made such a fuss about wanting it

I remember our eldest daughter’s behaviour changing when her baby sister was born. It didn’t last though.

If her behaviour changed before the birth could have been anticipatory.
You must be tired at the moment and could do without this. Try not to take it personally she’s probably just trying to take some control as things are changing in her life.

Won’t be as easy to just go out when she wants to especially with a newborn.
I’d pick your battles whilst at the same time being quite firm and consistent.

Make plans explicit e.g. on a whiteboard
who what where board
Who will be there, what you are doing, where you are going
When can either be on the board or a family calendar

She needs to know plans can change with weather
Unless you are letting people down you can then give her a choice where possible go out or stay home and play in the garden/ watch tv/ look at books etc