Am I being too hasty

[Red2curls]

9 years ago I left an abusive relationship with my then nearly 8 year child. Within the year I'd met and fell madly in love with another man, he was everything my ex wasn't. Loving, attentive, kind and wanted to spend time with me. He embraced family life with me and my child. The following year we had a child together. Throughout the years there have been stresses with my ex, finances ( he got into a lot of debt with payday loans) alcohol and mental health issues. Last year he admitted he had an issue and on and off has sought help relatively unsuccessfully. His mental health has deteriorated along with his relationship with my first child. He can no longer tolerate him being around gets annoyed when he's hungry and the other night stormed off to bed because he came and sat in the living room. We'd just returned from a very stressful holiday where for the first week he excluded himself from me and the children of all activities barring eating and drinking. My son told me tonight he's felt excluded within the family for a long time and come to except it. I've decided enough is enough and he needs to leave and sort his issues out and I need to put the needs of my children first.
Am I being too hasty, I know I'm going to break my youngests heart but I need to protect my eldest too. I tried talking to my partner but he genuinely feels he's in the right and evenings/ living room should be out alone time, every night.

Rather than hasty I'd saybuoire a year or so too slow. You needed to have stopped this as soon as it started. You didn't, but now your child has vocalised what you know to be true you have to act NOW or your relationship either your firet child will be forever damaged.

*I'd say you are a year

I know, I should have stopped it long before, I thought I was dealing with it but it's got progressively worse.

he excluded himself from me and the children of all activities barring eating and drinking.

You are protecting both of your children by leaving.

But especially your eldest - and that may save your relationship with your eldest.

My son told me tonight he's felt excluded within the family for a long time and come to except it.

Listen to your DS, he's telling you clearly what you need to do.

No it’s not hasty, it’s too slow, just as your DC has told you. Kick him out and enjoy time alone with your children

Yes you need to protect both of your children and in particular your son.

look at your poor son he Dad was abusive and then he got a step father and sibling v quickly who really hadn’t embraced family life.

he needs to go.