Am I wrong to offer?

[SaraJaneb]

I was talking to my son not realizing he was talking to his friends on a stream, one of the kids (17 year old) that was asking me questions got to me a lil, she was almost exactly like me,which is a problem. I'm well aware issues I have stem from abuse I went through. Since then I found out that yes, she was previously abused back in her home country but she lives in this country. After a while it was clear despite living with her mum, she has been raising herself learning how to shave,use sanitary products from YouTube!. Apparently the abuse stopped once they came here but now, there is a possibility she will be sent to live with her father back there when she is 18. I've offered to take her in when she turns 18 instead. As a mum, if it was me I'd feel someone had stolen my child away but as a mum I just can't do nothing. Am I wrong in this? What would you do? In my case I was looked after by other mums so I can see why this is my first idea. Am I doing the right thing here? I feel she's been through too much and knows too little to be be fully independent. She's double checked with my son (they are just friends) if I'm serious, and told me she wants to,if it's ok. What would you do? Am I doing the right thing?

Time will tell, but if you do allow her to live with you, you would have to start off properly. All house rules and expectations would have to be very clearly spelled out. What she's going to pay you, if anything, rules about keeping her room clean, what housework she's responsible for, if she can have overnight guest, (I would say that's not allowed), etc.

You sound like a very caring, generous person.

I think what you’re wanting to do is lovely, you want to protect and help this girl but I’d suggest speaking to her parent first.
Shes been through a lot and it’s horrible to hear you’ve had a tough past too but it’s still something that she will need to work through. She might need support and therapy.
few things to do, has your son met this person in real life? Has she been to your house before? I ask this incase she’s a stranger that he talks to online and maybe not who you would expect her to be.
If you’ve met a few times then I’d invite her over for dinner and see if she wants to chat. I’d then arrange to chat to her mum and see if they need any help or support.
Is she still in school? Could social services support the family?

If she does move in with you then I’d set some ground rules and ask for her to pitch in with some housework.
Id also check with your son and other family members to make sure they’re comfortable with it all.