Is my toddler developmentally delayed?

[Helena1993]

Hi! My friend has said this to me before but she thinks my 14 month old is delayed. She can't speak any words, doesn't really gesture like waving, pointing (she only reaches to be picked up and I think shows me toys? Not sure. Oh and she claps when I do it and sticks out her tongue when I show her mine.)
Only crawls and climbs on stuff like our couch. I know she can walk but she is too scared to really try walking. She cruises like a champ though and crawls faster than I.

Can feed herself well with her hands and sometimes even spoon.
But compared to other kids she really does seem a bit slow in her development. Other kids start trying to walk at 11-12 months old and wave back or point to things. Other kids at the playground who are younger than her just seem a lot more intelligent. I hid a ball in a bucket and the other kid would just tip it over and take the ball out. My toddler had no idea what to do. She never shook her head no. Even though I showed her 100 times. I tried teaching sign language. She didn't pick up on it and only stares at the thing she wants and grunts or cries.

Is this normal?

There's a huge range of normal development at this age and from what you've said she doesn't sound outside the normal range, but if you're concerned make an appointment with your HV.

Did she have a one year check with your HV?

She sounds about right to me. I remember stressing about this with my little one a month or so later he was doing all the things I was worried about. Try not to compare to other kids to much, they are all so different. Your little one is probably doing other things they aren't. But if you are concerned as pp mention speak to your hv they will be able to assure you

You can find ages and stages questionnaires online to give you a rough idea of what a 14 mo might be doing, but there's a huge margin for what's "normal" at this age.

Nothing you have mentioned is screaming delayed.

Agree with others, doesn't sound delayed to me. My son didn't walk until 20 months and he is absolutely fine! It's easy to compare and find evidence to confirm what you're worried about. Have you seen the episode of Bluey called Baby Race?

Thanks everyone! My mum said I should stop worrying. When she had me no one seemed to worry much about milestones.
She had her 1 year check and I was told she doesn't really copy other people which she should do at her age..

I wouldn't worry just yet. I'd be aware, do lots of talking, reading etc. posting picture flash cards is a great way to practice language. You could also try makaton to help with communication. Is she generally settled and happy or does she get frustrated? If not talking by 18m I'd ask gp for salt referral. You could also request a hv visit again. But children do develop at different paces.

Hi OP.

My DD is currently 19 months.

She started walking around 14 months, but didn't always walk as found crawling faster and easier. We just tried to encouage walking as often as we could but she certainly seemed to take forever to step away from holding onto things to cruise etc. She's walking fine now and starting to really run and develop her balance a lot better- often manages to catch herself before she falls over (but not all the time, we've had many bumps)

Copying wise.. I've only really noticed her doing that the last month or so really. She did rarely copy before but not often and nothing obviously noticeable all the time.

Talking wise.. she said a word or two at 13 months, was about 18 months when she suddenly just seemed to says loads and try to copy words. I was also worried at 13 months she wasn't saying a lot.. but she just did it when she was ready. Its hard to not compare against other children :) but id give her a bit more time x

Do the appropriate Ages and States quesrionnaire (available online) and take it to HV. They'll be able to give you an unbiased opinion on her development and may be able to suggest how to help with any areas she seems behind in.

I've got 4, one walked at 9 months one didn't walk till nearly 15 months and the others somewhere round 12 or 13 months. Similar pattern with everything really, some do things early and some don't, doesn't seem to have made much difference now they are adults.

Aww! 4 that’s lovely. I would have 10 if I could.
I‘ll just have a bit more patience when it comes to milestones. Today I noticed she learned a lot of new stuff. She learned to climb on my bed and then on the window sill without falling (I was there to ). And keeps taking a few little steps here and there and walks almost perfectly when I hold her hand. She also started feeding me when I said „mommy wants food“

Talk to your HV if you are concerned but nothing you've described sounds unusual to me. For many milestones there's a very wide range in what is considered 'normal'. For example in my antenatal group of 10 babies, one started walking at 11 months, another not til 18 months! Interestingly the 'late walker' was the most advanced talker! So they all develop differently.

You mention baby sign and your child didn't pick up on it. I used baby sign regularly from around 5mths (went to weekly classes) but my son didn't use his first sign until almost 12mths (milk) and then he gradually used more and more. This is typical - teacher said they need to see a sign hundreds of times before they will use it themselves. So it's all about consistency and sticking at it for months. It's amazing when they do start signing back to you!

My daughter is nearly 14 months and I’m also so worried about this. She walked at 10 months, she will only eat with her hands, rarely claps, she cannot point, blow kisses or shake her head and she rarely responds to her name. She is very happy and smiley and plays nicely with her toys. I try lots of things with her and just nothing. I’ve decided today I’m going to give her a month or 2 more before I get really worried, it’s hard not to compare babies! Totally get your worry xx

I’m starting to think we expect too much from them. Your daughter sounds fine to me

Sounds like my son at 14 months and I was worried too. He's now 2.5 and is ahead of his peers in lots of ways. I think children all just develop at different speeds :)

I would speak to the HV again if you are worried. The lack of words would send the biggest alarm bells and that’s what I would keep an eye on.

Have you looked at the ASQ staging questionnaires? You can look at the closest one to 14 months for an idea of how she's doing. I used to worry sometimes and found these a useful (and reassuring!) barometer.

Anecdotally, my son didn't walk until 16 months. Nephew was even later at 20! I specifically remember that neither of my kids waved really, and rarely clapped. They did point but my son always did so with a very weirdly bent finger!

OP, your LO sounds perfectly fine to me, IMHO.

For context, my DS is 18m, and literally would not even stand up until 12m, would cruise occasionally until 15m then one day at 16m just decided he wanted to walk, and now he's basically running. He can use a fork, but not a spoon, but is very clear about what foods he likes and dislikes (he'll actually point at things and shake his head). He still can only say mama, papa and nana (he thinks all foods are bananas 😂) but understands a LOT more than he can say. Our pediatrician back home said she would only worry if boys didn't have at least 4 spoken words by the time they were 24 months, so I stopped stressing after that.

All of this to say, like PPs have mentioned, the range of normal is so wide, it's basically pointless to compare your baby.