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Our 4 year old keeps lying

3 replies

Sunflower97 · 15/07/2023 17:41

Our 4 year old son keeps telling lies constantly. I know kids lie, especially at his age but this seems excessive, it's every single day he lies about something and I don't know how to handle it the right way. What can we do to get a hold on this before it gets worse especially as he starts school in September.

For example:

He often comes out of nursery and proudly expresses how he ate all of his fruit and veg at lunch. And until recently I always gave him the benefit of the doubt and praised him, only to get home and find leftover fruit and veg in his lunchbox. I know that he may be lying so he can get praise but he knows I check his lunch and that he will get caught out for lying. And it's not like he would face a consequence for not eating his fruit as we have had chats with him and reassured him that if he is too full to eat all his fruit and veg then that's fine, he can leave it and he can eat the rest as a snack when he gets home, as long as he tells us the truth about being full and not eating it. But he still lies about it and so enthusiastically.

The other day I thought I smelt wee, so I asked him nicely if he wet himself (which isn't usual for him) and he assured me that no, he didn't. I said we would shower him again anyway and then as he was on the toilet he happily proclaimed that he wee'd in his Bed. I asked him why he told me he hadn't and he wouldn't give me a straight answer. I checked his underwear and his bed and found no evidence that he had wet himself, his underwear didn't smell either, so I asked him again if he wet the bed or himself and he said no. It was a back and forth of lying and I'm unsure why.

He has lied at nursery as well about kids hitting him, even when the nursery worker has been right with him and saw that it didn't happen.

He will lie even when confronted about things we have just witnessed him do.

It's lots of little things too, which I know is normal but it's a lot!

How can we resolve this and what is the best way to go around it?
Especially as when he is told that its wrong or caught out he doesn't seem bothered, he says 'oh' and recognises that it's bad but he doesn't seem to react or learn from it.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StefansVampireBride · 15/07/2023 17:46

I don’t know anything about child development whatsoever so please feel free to ignore. Could he be enjoying the idea that he can just imagine up stuff and make them seem real by saying them? Would making up his own bedtime stories satisfy the urge?

Wenfy · 15/07/2023 17:49

Children who want control over their surroundings tend to do this too: how independant is he? Give him some independance / control over certain things and that will help. Also, don’t discount the hitting allegation because this type of behaviour can also be as a result of bullying - nursery workers don’t monitor 4 year olds to the level of younger kids they could easily miss stuff.

Holdingoutforholidays · 21/03/2024 22:05

Hi there did you eve me get to the bottom of this. We’ve just had a parent meeting with our nursery and told our 4 year old is going the same thing all of a sudden! Did it resolve or did you need to address it? Thanks

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