What's a normal amount of time to spend child free when you have young kids?

[Mamabear04]

Just wondering how often people go out for a drink or out in the evening when you have young kids? I have a 3.5y and 1y and honestly DH and I have been out only a hand full of times for a drink or a meal. Fair enough the fiat couple of years were restricted by covid etc but my friend who has a 2.5y and a 5m seem to be out every 2nd weekend for a drink or a meal. I'm just feeling like maybe DH and I should be making more of an effort to spend time for ourselves? We only have my DP to babysit and they already help out alot during the week with childcare so I don't like to ask a lot. What about everyone else? How often do you go out when you have young kids?

I have a 19 month old, DH I have been away for 2 weekends, I've been away for a few solo. We got on whatever nights out we want. We go out together as and when we can/want but we prefer date nights in the house really.

I've been very lucky that my sister will happily have DD and my daughter adores her. She's now having her own baby and we're TTC number 2 so I know the future will be a lot different but we've been very lucky

From about 3 months old with all mine we would go out together child free at least once a month and then maybe separately as well another time. It varies now , youngest is 6 and this month we will have had 3 nights out together. Next month is 1 at the moment. We are very lucky though as the grandparents love having our younger 2 at every opportunity.

We used two of the staff at DT’s nursery as babysitters. Worked brilliantly as we and DT’s knew them well. DH and I worked in time to go to the gym separately and to see our own friends. No family in the UK to help - hence the babysitters.

We have lunch out once a week on a weekday (when both WFH) and that’s it. We don’t have anyone to babysit and anyway we aren’t that bothered about nights out. So it’s a weekly pub lunch and then usually another home lunch date too if work diaries permit.

We have a nice pub in the village though so it’s easily achieved. But it’s not very long admittedly- 1.5hrs tops usually.

We have plenty of separate time though, usually 6-7hrs each over the weekends.

Together? Never! No one will babysit/can’t afford to pay and don’t know anyone to pay.

We very rarely go out together and ours are 8, 6 and 4. Maybe two or three times a year. Grandparents do one school pick up each a week so feel bad asking for anything more. We do socialise with friends who have kids of the same age more often though.

We have two DC (7 and 4) and we have only ever been out for one meal alone together since becoming parents, when it was my BIL's 40th (oldest was about 2 at the time) and we were back within 2 hours.

Now they are getting a bit older, I'm finding an hour once a week when they are both at a club to go and have a coffee alone.

We don't really have much spare money so any we do have, we like to spend on family stuff and neither of us drink alcohol so going out drinking doesn't appeal.

Both of them are at a holiday club for a few hours over the summer, and we've planned to go to the cinema alone for the first time in over 7 years! 🎉

Forgot to add, we don't really have anyone to help with childcare in the evenings either!

Goodness if makes me feel like we are normal then! We always spend the weekend together as a family and dont take much time for ourselves apart from really going to the gym on week nights. I do think maybe we need to try and have a night out maybe once a month or maybe every couple of months since DC2 has started sleeping well. Maybe need to sweet talk DP!