I just shouted at my baby

[spiralizeme]

My dd is 10 months old and at that age where she is crawling and putting EVERYTHING in her mouth. She wants the plugs, phones, wires..... it's relentless.

I am usually so patient but today I am struggling and something just came over me and I shouted. Loud! At her!

She was about to pull the cabinet over and I shouted "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY DO U KEEP DOING THAT . JUST STOP!!!"

She startled and then balled her eyes out and so did I and I flung my arms around her and apologised and swayed rocked her for ages.

But now I'm sitting here RIDDLED with soooo much guilt.

She's a baby!!!!! And I shouted?!?! Oh god.....

Feeling awful. Not sure what im asking.... just needed to pour this out & tell someone.

Is there somewhere safe you can put the baby when you need 5 mins to yourself to breathe? I get it, parenting can be relentless at times and I think most of us lose our cool at least once or twice. The most important thing is that you responded to her distress, and it sounds like you gave her lots of affection and reassurance afterwards. Hang in there. X

Take a deep breath. We ALL fall short of the ideal at times. You are not alone. And your DD will not be scarred for life.

It sounds as though you have to abandon the idea of your house as you knew it and move and change everything around to suit your baby's safety. If the cabinet is not safe and can be pulled over on her, then put it somewhere else - or behind a sofa so that it cannot fall. Hide all wires and plugs. Put things out of her reach.

Your home will stop looking like your home for quite a while, but you will be spared having to be hyper-alert all the time knowing that you have made her and your belongings as safe as possible. Do this for every room.

It is a bit of a pain, but necessary.

I remember that when my first was born we had a beautiful tall plant in a pot by the front door. It was fine till she was crawling and then I lost count of the number of times I had to drag her away from it and clean the earth off the carpet - and from round her mouth. Out it went! - and life became much easier.

I am a grandmother and my home got rearranged every time a new baby arrived - 7 of them! It's the only way. Life and your home changes when you have children - it is only for a short while.

Go round the house and look at everything she does or could get into that you do not want her to and move it!!

Oh honey… breathe your DD loves you

You sound like an amazing mother. You reacted in both anger, sadness, overtiredness, and being scared of the outcome if the cabinet had fallen. Being a mother is the TOUGHEST job I’ve ever had. I’ve also lost my cool and I feel so guilty afterwards but it is how exhausted I felt at the time.

If you feel overwhelmed again put her in her cot and walk away for a few minutes she is safe in the cot and it is better for you to have a cool head

Also maybe it’s time for safety gates/ playpen to allow her a safe place to play and explore as I am sure most of your reaction was panic at the potential outcome. You’ve got this

Ok, you snapped. It happens! Try to avoid it, but that one moment is not going to override the many lovng interactionsyou have/will have.

Baby proof/move things/put up stair gates. You have many months when your DC won't be trusted to do sensible things.it's horrible stressful to have to be watching every single second, so just make the environment more suitable so you can relax.

A large playpen is a useful tool and likewise stair gates across doorways etc. No harm comes to children whose parents use playpens for safety when having to be out of the room or otherwise not supervising fully. Actually, the ones with bars are often useful to help them pull themselves to standing and start cruising and learning to play imaginatively by themselves is a good thing. Not all day every day obviously, but some of every day is okay so long as you are interacting, and doing activities etc. around the house and outside it some of the time.

It's very normal to occasionally get frustrated, don't beat yourself up about it. Your baby won't suffer any consequences so long as you shouting at her isn't a regular occurrence.

Stressed adult shouts at baby doing ridiculous things. Stop the press - this is headline news.

Don't be daft - we all shout at our kids every now and again because we're human and we have limits.

dont worry about it - you startled your baby with the volume, there will be plenty of occasions when you will shout and she will cry. its ok, part of growing up and learning important lessons such as not pulling a cabinet over your head :)

What's really important is that you repaired things afterwards - you apologised and gave her a cuddle. We can't all be a perfect parent all the time, lord knows I've shouted at mine too, but the repair is such an important part of things. It shows them that you make mistakes too and how to apologise. Don't worry, you're doing a great job!

This was an isolated incident out of character. You don't need to feel guilty. As parents we feel guilt about everything, am I too soft, am I too strict, do they eat healthy enough, have too much screen time, do I spend enough money on them, do I spoil them, etc etc etc. It never ends no matter the age.

Houseproof as much as you can. But at this age it's the worst age for not being able to take your eyes off them. IT DOES PASS. Mine is nearly 6 and I can leave him happily upstairs or downstairs while I'm busy for a while. I remember hating that stage though.