Kids don't want to go out, ever

[Canyoumakemeporridge]

HI I've signed up specifically to ask this question because I'm so at a loss.
Married, 4 kids, DH works shifts and I work term-time. I am now off on 6 week break.
Kids are DSs 10, 12, 15, 18. (This is mostly about the younger two but mentioning older 2 for context.)
This is the first year that I have been at home for the school holidays and I had visions of us going out on daytrips, getting the chance to do lots of things together, etc but anytime I suggest something they say they want a home day - which means playing Switch, drawing, lego etc. They dont want to see friends and round here nobody just comes to door its all pre-prepared by parents, and they dont want to meet up with friends either if I suggest arranging. They say its school holidays so they just want to stay home.
I took them to cinema yesterday to see a movie they chose and because we did that its like they now need the next few days at home to get over the fact that we went out!

I get bored being at home too much and I have joined a fitness club and have been going there a lot because then at least I get to go out (younger ones stay with older).

Surely they cant just stay home for the summer, like every day? Its so hard because they just like their own company and the company of each other, being all boys they dont really have a need/want to see others. I dont think it is good to stay home all the time, or am I just thinking that because its not what I would prefer?

At ages 10 and 12 should i just insist we are going out somewhere, park, swimming etc. They do like it when we get there. It so hard to know what to do. It was much easier when they were little.

Any advice from those who are there or have been there would be great.

It’s sad so many are just prepared fo leave them to it - this is why we have a generation growing up with a woeful lack of fitness. Fresh air and exercise is so important - it’s non negotiable in this house.

If we weren’t having a day out mine would run round the garden playing football or go to the Green down the road with local friends from 10 for football. When very young in summer hols there was often a sports camp for a week or two. From 15 DS was in air cadets and they often had stuff on. He was running up hills in the Peak District with a huge rucksack, learning to fly. My favourite was him being in charge of a small squad on a camouflage exercise. He made them hide in brambles, no one looked there as they were brambles. They won and he was delighted, in those brambles was his future GF he just didn’t know it at the time.

Good luck it was non negotiable here, I taught DS how to climb trees when he was 10 and all manner of stuff as am a country girl. DH is a proper townie from ‘That London ‘ as I joke with him, so he got taught as well.

Consider the positives first. The kids like each other’s company. That’s lovely.
They are doing creative stuff as well and are not just glued to a computer.
So instead of ‘days out’ how about a daily swim? At roughly a fixed time every day?
I grew up in a hot country. I spent my whole summers lying on the bed reading books and going for an evening swim. I have very fond memories of that time.
They do need fresh air and exercise every day but they don’t need ‘days out’ or planned activities.

Mine ( DS 15 & 12) would stay home and watch YouTube for the entire 6 weeks if I let them but I don't think that is healthy. Unless I arrange something and bear the moaning or hide their devices they do nothing else. It's exhausting policing the screen time - holidays are hard work!

Indeed, also at the age where they re supposed to discover the world, make their own experiences, socialise with friends, get on with life?
Just leave them in front of screens or in closed environments? Sad.