Struggling with 17 month old

[Sunflowerlily]

My DD has never been a particularly chilled baby but recently I find it so hard to cope with her. She’s absolutely great at nursery or when with her grandparents then with me she’s a total nightmare to deal with. I actually have started to dread the days I look after her because I’ve just ran out of steam with it all.
she screams and screams when she doesn’t get what she wants. She screams if I try to put her in the high chair. She suddenly has started screaming when I try to put her in the bath. The only word she seems to know is ‘no’. She wants me to carry her everywhere. She won’t go in the pram.
I was ill recently so she watched more tv than she should have and now demands it all day every day and tantrums when she can’t have it.
I don’t know how to deal with it and it’s wearing me down. I know I’m not someone who has found being a mother easy, it hasn’t come naturally but I really am trying my best to give her a nice life and I just feel like a failure constantly.
is this a phase? Is this her personality? How can I cope better with her? Any advice welcomed.

Ahh bless you 💐 that sounds tough. How long has she been like this? Could it just be early onset terrible twos? It is hard when they begin to throw a tantrum about any little things. Is she distracted by other activities like books and other toys to take her attention away from the tv? Can she walk short distances on the reins if she won’t get in the pram?

I have a 19 month old, for the last month I'd say he's really disliked being restrained in anything, car seat, highchair, pram etc. So as much as I can I avoid it. To eat he has a little table and chair which he much prefers. I bring a small tupperware of snack (blueberries, small crackers etc) with me whenever I need to put him in the pram or car seat and he often walks outside with backpack reins. Backpack reins are good because they think they are free. Also he really likes to climb and to throw things so much of our day is spent helping him to safely climb and giving him lots of opportunities to throw safe things. Does she like being outside, mine is much happier inside than in. Regards the TV she is only little and at this age she will just forget about it soon if you persist with distracting her.

Oh in answer to your last question yes it absolutely is just a phase I promise. I have two older ones as well and it is just a phase and her asserting her new found independence x

I couldn't read and run but yes, this is very much a phase. It's a bloody tough one though, please don't take it to heart or take it personally. At that age she's learning that she can effect the world around her, and she knows what she wants, but still can't properly communicate exactly what she wants. There's not really an easy way out of this one but I promise, this too shall pass 💐 try to get some time away from her if you can, and try to talk about what she can do rather than what she can't. Make games out of everything (I know it's tough when you're tired, but it'll pay back dividends) like nearly "forgetting" to take her clothes off before bath time, or can she find a good stick to hold on your walk etc etc. You're doing a great job so don't beat yourself up 💐

Thank you everyone for your tips and kind words - just the boost I needed.
I definitely need to try and be more positive and pick my battles. This morning, for example, I could sense a tantrum as I was getting ready to put her into the pram to go to nursery and so I just let her walk (walk a few mins then I carried her - luckily it’s not far!!)
i will definitely get out more with her - and just let her run around the park more. I think I’ve got myself into a negative cycle where it’s so hard to get her to do the things that allow us to go out (have breakfast, get dressed, get in pram etc) that I just think ‘well we may as well not bother’ but will try to be more positive going forward. But if she physically won’t get into the pram what do I do?!
she’s got some teeth coming through at the mo and she’s got a cough so maybe she’s distracted by nursery but then comes home and feels all these things again - maybe something to clutch onto lol.
having found the first year quite difficult I thought i would be finding things easier by now.

I just came across this and feel like I could have written this as well are in this exact position now.
hope things got easier for you!