Why is it assumed...

[MaxwellCat]

That if you have no help with childcare its because you have no family? Or don't live near them? Does everyone else's family help out? As a struggling single mum I am exhausted but my family would never have my children despite living 10 mins away (I don't expect them this is more about other people surprised by it) do you have a lot of family help?

We have help with regards to childcare while I work. My mother has DD 2 days on the one week and 1 day the other week (we have a 2 week pattern, when she was younger they had her 5 days a fortnight). I know my mother really wanted to support me to be able to continue my career.

MIL does 1 day a week. I am very grateful for all they do and it saves us a fortune and DD loves them all.

As they do so much during the week I don't ask them to babysit for us to socialise on the weekends. They have had DD for us to go to weddings, appointments etc and we sometimes holiday together and then they look after DD in the holiday house while we have an evening or 2 out.

I know people whose family have the kids sleep over every week / for them to have weekends away and people who have no child care from family I think it's really variable x

My parents live an hour away, DH's mum close to four hours. My mum helped out a bit in the early days with DD1 - came round for a few hours every Friday for about six months to hold her while I slept, but otherwise we've had no childcare, really. Both sets of GPs came down in turn to say with DD1 while I was in labour with DD2, and my parents have kindly agreed to babysit for a few hours in the evening when DH and I go to a wedding in a year or so, but that's it so far.

Not to say that either set are absent GPs - my set see the kids at least monthly and DH's come down every two months or so, which is a lot given the distance, but they don't see the kids on their own. I do feel a little sad sometimes because my GPs had me overnight once a week as a kid, but then they lived nearby and we're already retired. Doesn't apply to my parents or in-laws.

We do have other people nearby - siblings and friends - who could step in in an absolute emergency, like if DH or I had a medical crisis or something, but I couldn't ask them for childcare in any other situation.

My family live close by and don't help in anyway. My DS is 6 and has only every been looking after by me and/or my husband, at school or Nursery. We both work full time too.