Debating a second child.. is there ever a right time?

[RainyJuly23]

I have a 4yo with stbXH and DP has a 10yo with exP. We both want another child. He's an amazing dad to both my child and his. Nothing is too much trouble, he's hands on and adores the bones of them. I have no doubts of his parenting ability. His life revolves around the children.

We both work full time, have a nice house and 2 cars. Financially stable - not well off by any means but comfortable and can afford nice things if we save for them. My daughter is starting school in September so childcare fees for her will be minimal (a few hours after school pickup by current childminder).

When I had my daughter, I was absolutely broke, couldn't afford the bare essentials but somehow managed and was in an unstable marriage. I don't regret a thing but I wish I could have done it in a more positive way.

My question is, when is the right time? When did you know it was time to start trying?

I dont think there's a perfect time. If you definitely want another I would caution against waiting too long - I'm thinking of 10 year old SD. It wouldn't be fair on her to have a baby/toddler around when she will be 15/16 and studying for public exams. Whereas a 5 year old may well be annoying to her but you'd be able to reign them in and stop them disrupting her when she needs quiet. But even if you start trying imediately, you do need to think about how difficult a much-younger sibling is for a teenager.

I'd crack on

@TinyTeacher SD spends the weekends with us and is very academic, so that's a very good point as I picture her as a good studier. She's desperate for a baby sibling but there's very little chance she will get one from her DM so it's almost certainly going to be from DP and I. I'd love to give her this, as we evidently want it too, and I don't want it to pass and her to resent a baby if we wait too long.

My DD is baby obsessed so would be no objections from her 😂

Well there was a right time for us, which was as close as possible to having our first child. But that obviously wasn't the right time for you.
It'll be different for everyone.

Sounds like it’s a pretty good time for you! What’s holding you back?

@KnickerlessParsons yeah definitely not the case for us, although I'm glad/hope things worked out for you 

@Flockameanie honestly? I've no idea. We already have 2 children between us and a dog so it's not as though we have unlimited freedom and are at risk of losing any due to the commitments of having a child.. we can afford it, we can afford to buy everything needed, childcare would be fine when we return to work as both children would be at school.. I really don't know.