If you had an only child by choice…

[Londonder]

…have you regretted it? How has it been?
i have 1 DC but for several reasons (financial, no family help, no real desire to do it all again, more time and resources to give DD) I feel we might be stopping at 1.
People I speak to sometimes seem to take for granted that two DC is the “standard”, which I find annoying.
Keen to hear stories of 1 DC families.

We had one. He's 26 now and I have asked from time to time if he minds being an only. He is quite definitive that being only was great for him. He has good friends and a job and a lovely fiancée. Honestly, I would have had another but DH did not want to go through another pregnancy and I was almost 42 when I had him. We were able to travel a lot as a family and were able to spend money on him with less concern than if we had more DC.

Following with interest OP. My DD is still very young and we are swaying towards being one and done, but the fear of possible regret is real!

I met DH later and DD was a last minute effort, so it was always likely to be only 1 and we have had bo pressure for more as one was a shock to family!

She’s almost 4 and no regrets, it’s biologically too late now anyway but I don’t feel like it is a bad decision. We could’ve squeezed in a second with a small gap and some friends have done that but I don’t feel any envy, it looks a bit hellish if I’m honest (I know that’s short term though) whereas our life is lovely and calm.

I do know lots of happy only children though so am biased, and DH is long term NC with his siblings (as they are vile) so we know that they don’t always bring any benefits.

I suspect if we had been younger we may have had a second but I don’t feel as though anyone is missing and whilst I loved pregnancy I am content with my lot.

Once when he came out of infant class DS asked if he could have a sister.

When I asked him why, he said "So I can get married" (He was the only, only child in his class) when I explained it didn't work like that he quite happily settled for a Happy Meal!
DS is in his late 30s now, happily married for several years to dil who is also an only child, and guess what ?they have an only one!

When one of DDs friends was about to get a sibling when they were about 5 or 6, I asked her if she wished she had one. After due consideration she said no, she much preferred having a dog.

We have one who’s 14 now and have no regrets. The main reason is the cost of nursery but I like that we can give him attention and nice things without it costing the earth. He’s gone to the fair with friends tonight, it’s cost £20 for him but our friends who he’s gone with have 4 children so it’s cost them £80 😵. I did get broody when I hit 35 a few years ago but I got a dog instead and now I have a permanent toddler 😂.

You have to do whatever suits you. I hate how other people project this idea that one child will be lonely and you must have another for them to have a friend. I have two siblings, I'm very close to one and barely talk to the other so you can't predict they'll even be friends.

I sometimes feel other parents are jealous of families with one child as let's face it it's usually much easier so they try to make you feel guilty for not planning a second

I agree with what others have said. Ds is 6 now and a lovely wee boy, we get time with him and to ourselves as well as (sometimes) cheaper costs. From pregnancy I only wanted one child and nothing has changed my mind since. Ds has good friends to spend time with, hobbies and a close relationship with a fellow only child. He does talk about a sibling at times, but he has started to call his slightly older and younger cousins 'sister' and 'brother' which is very sweet I think. He knows they're cousins really haha.

Following with interest

There are positives to having one - days out cost less, don't have competing priorities etc., but I sometimes feel they don't outweigh the lack of someone to play with. My child is much less able than I was to play independently and I feel guilty a lot. But then remember I would have hated doing it all again and household could be way more stressful with a sibling that they didn't get on with...