8 week old has changed overnight, please help!

[Lyndso11]

Hi guys, my little 8 week old angel has turned into a demon baby. She has gone from being content and sleeping well overnight, sometimes giving me 6 hours! Feeding was stretching out last week but now... sleep is out the window especially naps, our lose morning routine is out the window. I can only get her to sleep by feeding and and she's so fussy, grumpy and just generally unsettled.

We are bed sharing but I was hoping to get her in the next to me for at least some of thr night as we are ebf so bed sharing makes this easier for now. Her feeds have shortened too, she will only take one boob for 5-10 mins before either falling asleep or getting angry. It's like cluster feeding but not constant, more like every hour but all day and then every 2 hours at night.

Can anyone relate? Is this a phase? I'm so worried I'm not doing it right and I'm going to be bed sharing and breastfeeding tonsleep forever! I'm happy ylto do these things now if I know that a time will come when she no longer needs these things... anyone have a crystal ball?

Hi! 100% can relate, when my DD hit 8-9 months, she was RABID!......

goodluck

Oh god! Mine is 8 weeks, can't think what an 8 month old would be like!

I will add that my mental health has really suffered the last week, I cry most days and feel very overwhelmed and can't imagine that this is my life now. I hate to say it but I keep thinking "what the hell have I done?!"

Could it be a growth spurt?

Also I feel that babies like to lull you into a false sense of security that you've got it sussed and then refuse to sleep/feed and change again, then when you've got used to that new routine they change again!

If baby is still feeding ok and having dirty/wet nappies it's likely all fine.

Growth spurt? Teething?

Yes I'm thinking growth spurt. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that she will settle back down again into a more manageable rythym without me having to actively do anything like refuse her the boob etc...

I had exactly the same thing OP, my ds went through this phase and the phase went and returned several times over 🙃 it will pass, you aren't doing anything wrong - you just have a hungry baby who is happy to use you for comfort as well.

x-posted with you. It will all be ok, but all the not knowing when they are so young is hard.

Can you have a chat with your HV/GP if you are feeling a bit overwhelmed and tearful?

Thank you. Sorry not sure what x-posted means? I am due to see HV on Thursday so I will chat to her then but I don't want them to just prescribe me meds I'd rather try self care/counselling if I need it.

It means our posts were typed at about the same time so I didn't see yours before I posted mine. There are other things that HV/GP can suggest than just meds so def do talk to them. I was referred to a local group which was really good and there are lots of organisations around to help.

Don't know what the weather is like where you are but can you take baby out in the pram/sling for a sleep? It might help to reduce your worry about needing to feed them to sleep and getting outside might be nice for you - I know it always helps me to see somewhere other than my own 4 walls.

Yes we have a sling and it's the only way I dont need to feed to sleep at the moment! Weather is abit pangs here today so haven't been able to get out yet but I do try and get out at least once...

Can you shed any light on whether this phase will pass and she will settle down again or am I creating a habit with feeding her to sleep all the time?

Could be one of those darned sleep regressions. My daughters 15 months and still gets them every now and then.

She is still very small OP. You are not creating bad habits, if she needs to feed to sleep, that is what you do. If she needs to be held to sleep, that is also normal and fine.
No one can say if she will revert to her routine - although I have to say it is less common for babies to have any sort of routine at this age. 6hours sleep is incredible - feeding every 2 hours or so throughout the day and night is quite common.
Things will settle, but the first 3 months are hard. By 6 months thing do improve.

Others will disagree, but I see the early days as survival mode! Your baby is only wee, it's completely normal for them to breastfeed for comfort as well as to feed, completely normal for them to wake up a lot at night to feed, and completely normal for them to not be consistent - none of which makes it easy for you! Personally I did used to feed my babies to sleep because it was easier than trying to battle with them at every nap time and I was all about doing what I needed to to get through the day/night! As you have discovered, nothing stays the same forever (or even for long) so even if you fed to sleep now, you won't be doing that forever.

What would be easier for you - feeding to sleep so they and you can get some sleep, or trying to get them to sleep without feeding and managing whatever happens when you try that? There isn't a right or wrong answer, and if you ask the whole of MN you will get lots of different answers! She is your baby, you need to do what feels right/best for you and your baby.

Honestly at this age they're always changing and everything is just a phase in my experience. This is true as they get older too (mine is 20 months old now) but they don't change as fast....you might get 5 or 6 months of consistent behavior.

I remember I used to panic when we went into fussy phases when mine was very young but they never lasted long. The 4 month sleep regression was the most challenging time but we got through it. Now I'm pregnant with my second baby and I think I'll be a lot more relaxed about it this time around, "it's just a phase" will be my mantra. I'm sure this will pass over for you very soon, your baby is just waking up to the world around her and it's probably really overwhelming.

Everything in the first year is usually a phase. That's what I found when I had DD. She didn't settle into a better routine and didn't sleep through until she was 1.
Every baby is different though.
DS is 6 months and he already sleeps better at night than DD did at this age.

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job. Try and go with the flow, take the path of least resistance. So, contact nap/sling/buggy/car/feed to sleep/co-sleep (if you feel safe doing so) and just know that it does get easier. Everything you do isn't creating bad habits so ignore any advice that tells you otherwise.
Babies want to be held, want to be close and will go through so many phases of sleep throughout their first year.
If you're in a bad phase then just know that it will get better. X

It could be a cognitive leap or growth spurt as well. Check out the wonder weeks and there's an app as well.

Babies go through them as they make sense of the world around them and it's demonstrated by the 3 Cs crying, clingy and cranky. I think sleep can also be affected. It's worth a read. I followed it with my first and have just remembered about it from reading your post. I'm going to have a look myself as I'm in the same place you are.

I have no further advice expect, that if you need a break from baby. Have one. Put baby safely in their cot or on their mat and walk away. Make a coffee, have stretch, send a couple of texts etc and come back to them a couple mins later hopefully feeling a tad less stressed. I know, I know, easy to say hard to do. I should actually tale my own advice. Mine has suddenly decided that he will only contact nap! Currently being used as a cot and a mummy dummy

I think there is a growth spurt at 8 weeks and it all calms down again at around10 weeks, then it goes shit again. I found my first baby very hard and wanted to give her up for adoption by 10 weeks(I didnt) please speak to HV or Dr about the way you are feeling. If you feel overwhelmed put baby down somewhere safe and take 5 mins to have a cup of tea or scream into a pillow. X

It will be a "leap". Just hang in there. It's all survival until they're about 3 (years)!

The thing that helped me was realising that every bit is a phase. Some stages suit some babies and some mums better than others. If you're going through a bad phase, a good one is coming!

My baby is 8 weeks and I'm experiencing the same! Last week her sleep got so much better as I felt she was starting to tell the difference between day and night and started giving 5/6 hour sleep stretches at night. The last couple of days have been very restless at night, lots of whinges in the day etc. I was starting to wonder if she's poorly but she has no temp, no rashes or anything, no cough/snuffle nose!

No you're not creating a bad habit by feeding her to sleep. Breastfeeding is a very natural normal way for a baby to fall asleep, it has hormones in it to make them sleepy, and it's good for them to fall asleep with full tummies! This will be a growth spurt OP, and it'll pass. Please please don't worry about any old crap about creating bad habits with your baby. I promise you as they grow something you were doing starts to become a problem instead of a solution, so you change things up and they adjust. There's nothing you can't work your way back from, ever. Make sure you're getting regular breaks (DH walking round with baby in a sling etc), plenty to eat and drink and just rest rest rest. At 8 weeks you're still recovering from pregnancy and birth and you're doing it while growing your baby with your milk - what an effort!!! Be proud of yourself. And contact your GP if you feel your mental health is taking a dive. You're doing amazing OP. Congratulations on your lovely baby.

Glad I'm not the only one, maybe it is a leap/growth spurt! She is slightly less hungry today so I'm hoping it's on its way out but she's also had her jabs this morning so I'm not holding out for much sleep tonight!

Thank you for the reassurance, I wish I could just shut off the voices in my brain and go with intuition! I know I just need to try and enjoy and go with the flow! Thanks again, I will do whatever gets us through and treat it as a problem when it becomes one xx

God this fills me with dread! To think im going to feel like this for 3 years is horrendous and makes me wish I'd never had a baby! So awful to say but I've barely made it 8 weeks nevermind 3 years!

She’s 8 weeks old. She’s still a newborn and she’s still in the 4th trimester.

Sleep isn’t linear - so it doesn’t just get good and stay good but goes through good patches and bad. Sometimes she’ll sleep 6+ hours, others she’ll wake hourly. All normal because sleep is developmental.

My 2 year old was still waking every 2 hours until very recently and that’s normal too. Babies and toddlers change ALL the time. You can’t expect anything from them.

Again, feeding to sleep and cosleeping are historically and biologically normal. Your baby wants to stay close to you, they have a biological need to be close to you. Read about the 4th trimester.

This is a great article on the reality of real baby sleep:

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/