Separating during pregnancy, new born, breastfeeding

[Helpisonthewaydear]

How would it work? Anyone been in similar position and how has it worked when the fathers takes the other children how would he take the newborn? Would it have to be formula fed? Would he not be expected to take the baby? I'm so stressed and feel sick thinking about it

@Kadyrose what is your job?

I would also recommend you ask your go to refer you for counseling - mine did this- they put you to the top of the list when pregnant. The counsellor which help you process the abuse and to learn how to advocate for yourself and set boundaries x

@Unexpectedlysinglemum thanks for advice, I will take all this on board.
He is very mums boy type of man, she likes to be overly involved and is very mouthy.
He isn't very understanding in parenting and used to tell me to start creating a bit of distance when my other children were newborns. He hated me picking them up all the time so I doubt he'd take anything about the 4th trimester on board. He hates them being clingy to me.

Also about the counseling, is that free on nhs? I'm not sure could speak in real life. I find it hard speaking, I've not even told family yet that I am separating. I am full of self doubt & embarrassed.
But in the past month things have happened shouting, insults, my son being punched. So ye now is time I'm worried my kids will be taken though if I were to report.

If you look up my 'AIBU TO REDUCE CONTACT WITH EX MIL' post people gave me great advice for dealing with her.

Honestly I thought exactly the same 'what will he say or do if I...' the beauty is now you're in the driving seat and you set the rules. It feels so odd at first after being controlled by them for so long but you'll get there! Please please please don't let yourself be bullied into putting him on the birth certificate or he will use it to control you for the next 18 years.

I got it though my gp iapt service free on nhs. I do it on video call because of baby but you can also do just telephone. Just try if and if you don't like it you can stop, but they are well trained and you can explain you are nervous etc

They won't take your kids from you!!
They will probably make you promise not to take him back though. They will need to make sure that your son will be safe if he goes to stay with his dad.
I really would tell your midwives what is going on

'He hated me picking them up all the time' omg this baby will be so much better without this awful dad around interfering with your mother instinct to nurture

I will read that thread, thanks for your advice.
@Unexpectedlysinglemum

I've been there OP.
My husband walked out on me when I was pregnant.
I BF my first and I BF my second, nobody was stopping me, and that was that!
I definitely felt pressure to use bottles, but I said no. Courts, HV, doctors, WHO etc all advice that Breast milk is in the child's best interest (if of course you are able to BF, absolutely no shade to those who can't). The dad will have to work around it.
In separated families I was very strong got advised as well that contact with the dad should be short but frequent bursts to begin with. That way it can fit around your feeding routine and will mean baby isn't away from mum and normality for a difficult amount of time.

If you want to and can, your baby shouldn't have to go without Bf because the parents have split up. You can easily work around it with co operation from the dad. No court in this world would tell a mum to stop BF a baby.