AIBU to feel hurt by SIL

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Name changed for this.
When they are together DH and SIL seem very close. Both parents are gone so they only have each other. We go for stay overs during Christmas etc. fabulous relationship with nieces & nephew.
We had our first baby last year and SIL kept mentioning she will come over for a visit to meet him (2 hour car drive) and never happens. We kept telling her not to stretch herself as she has 3 kids (youngest is 10) and has a demanding job, but obviously we would love to see her. Every time it's about to happen something happens - she gets a bug, she has to do x y z.
Later on we find out that she is in our city for a leisure event and she never visits us. DH doesn't react much - but I'm appalled as to me it clearly indicates she can make this happen if she pleases. There was also no cards from her to celebrate big things while DH's 3rd cousin living in Australia sent DS a card for his birthday.
We have zero support network here - my family lives abroad. There were days I cried myself to sleep out of loneliness with PND, so I'm aware this is colouring my view of the situation. AIBU to expect SIL to show a bit more interest and thoughtfulness if they are as close as they seem with DH?

YANBU. You make the effort to meet your sibling's baby, that's very hurtful of her.

My brother and sil do this too. They are constantly in my town to see her sister, thinking nothing of taking the kids to classes / cafes that are local to me, and yet when I invite them to do something here ‘it’s too far’. I’ve just stopped asking now as it’s clear they don’t actually want to meet up.

Strangely DH never reacts to this. He always speaks highly of her and seems to have very low expectations. In a way I'm glad - we have a code in our relationship to never speak behind family & close friends.
I do feel pain that his only sister doesn't make any effort to take part in such a significant event in his life, especially because they lost their parents very early 😢

This has been my experience with my SIL too. I just gave up inviting her and my DB. I have 3 other SILs who I have a great relationship with so I know it’s not me.