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Original poster

Worry's about handover

11 replies

xx200xx · 09/07/2023 17:12

So gonna try and make this short.

My son who is 1 has just started seeing his father and grandfather after a few months. The court order states 2 hours to start of with and moves up every 4 weeks.

My sons grandfather keeps making little comments that the reason my son is crying when I pick him up is because he's coming home to me. Today grandfather wrote that my son cry's every time he gets returned to mum in the handover book.

The reason for my son crying is because they put my 1 year old in the front of the car and my son loves the play around with the steering wheel, so when it's time to come to me he don't want to because he wants to play in the car. This is becoming a regular thing, that when it's pickup time they will put my son straight in the front of the car and then hand him over crying. I feel like it's purposely being done to make my son cry to make out he don't want to come with me. You would think they would stop putting him in the car knowing it causes distress.

I'm just really worried the courts will think that my som isnt happy coming home with me, as we are back in September to court to discuss overnight contact. But now im very worried that there gonna give childs father custody as childs father and grandfather are saying my child is upset to come back home to me???

Hope this makes sense

OP posts:
TinyTeacher · 09/07/2023 17:18

Sorry you are going through this.

I've never had to deal with this, but I imagine these courts are VERY used to people playing games....

Keep a written record of what is going on.

Original poster
xx200xx · 09/07/2023 20:02

TinyTeacher · 09/07/2023 17:18

Sorry you are going through this.

I've never had to deal with this, but I imagine these courts are VERY used to people playing games....

Keep a written record of what is going on.

Thankyou,
I just know there gonna say malicious lies in court as it's 2 of them and when I'm actually telling the truth about what's happening it won't be believed.
It's so horrible x

OP posts:
builtforspring · 09/07/2023 20:08

I don't think this would matter.. my DS cries when I pick him up from nursery, I think it's from relief that I've come back (he's only been there a few weeks).

So it could be argued he's crying because he's happy that you're there.

Additionally, what is the grandfather playing at?! He sounds like a treat.. Confused

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Original poster
xx200xx · 09/07/2023 20:11

builtforspring · 09/07/2023 20:08

I don't think this would matter.. my DS cries when I pick him up from nursery, I think it's from relief that I've come back (he's only been there a few weeks).

So it could be argued he's crying because he's happy that you're there.

Additionally, what is the grandfather playing at?! He sounds like a treat.. Confused

I know!! They definitely know exactly what they are doing as tho both smirked at each other while my LO was crying today.

Grandfather is also taking me to court for access and accused me of child abuse ans neglect. I moved into a refuge out of there home due to my child's father. But the grandfather is just as bad.
I hope the courts can see what they are doing!!

OP posts:
Kadyrose · 09/07/2023 20:30

So sorry this is happening to you. Why is grandfather present at all? Should just be father initially. What I would do is have someone go with you, ideally a neutral third party and ask them to collect son while you wait offside. This will emotionally protect you and also father will not get the satisfaction of annoying you so will hopefully stop this immature behaviour. Just keep a record of everything and don't give them anything at all that can be used.

Original poster
xx200xx · 09/07/2023 20:33

Kadyrose · 09/07/2023 20:30

So sorry this is happening to you. Why is grandfather present at all? Should just be father initially. What I would do is have someone go with you, ideally a neutral third party and ask them to collect son while you wait offside. This will emotionally protect you and also father will not get the satisfaction of annoying you so will hopefully stop this immature behaviour. Just keep a record of everything and don't give them anything at all that can be used.

Grandfather is there because there is a non molestation against dad. But Dad comes over anyway. I unfortunately don't have a third party to come with me. But it's getting to the point there writhing stuff in handover book what is pointless and no need for.

I have sent a picture of this to my solicitor!

OP posts:
Kadyrose · 09/07/2023 21:13

xx200xx · 09/07/2023 20:33

Grandfather is there because there is a non molestation against dad. But Dad comes over anyway. I unfortunately don't have a third party to come with me. But it's getting to the point there writhing stuff in handover book what is pointless and no need for.

I have sent a picture of this to my solicitor!

Show quote history

Definitely advise your solicitor if there is a breech for of a non mol. I've been involved in many cases like yours, depending on what is specified on the non mol you can contact the police and have him arrested. For example I worked with a mother whose non mol stated that father could not be in same area/within a certain distance. She contacted police and had him arrested.

If you don't feel comfortable with grandad you need to voice this to your solicitor. You could use a contact centre purely for handovers so grandad is not needed

loverofbono · 09/07/2023 21:16

My 16 month old cried his little eyes out every day when I pick him up from creche. It's because he's forgotten he's missed me and when he sees me he has all these big emotions he doesn't know how to process. So I world worry about that, but they sound awful doing this to you!

Original poster
xx200xx · 09/07/2023 21:20

@Kadyrose
Unfortunately it says he can't come 100 meters to any property in living at. It says other stuff but it don't say that in public he can't come near me. However in court the reason for grandad being there was so dad don't come near me.

The grandad is the dads only transport so no matter what he will be there🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm going to tell my solicitor grandad is making me uncomfortable.

There horrible human beings!!

OP posts:
Becarefullwhatyouwishfor · 27/10/2023 01:54

Hi, so sorry to hear what you’re going through.
just wondering what’s happened with the courts since your last post?

Original poster
xx200xx · 27/10/2023 13:15

Becarefullwhatyouwishfor · 27/10/2023 01:54

Hi, so sorry to hear what you’re going through.
just wondering what’s happened with the courts since your last post?

Hello,

So basically we are going through to a final hearing now as we can't seem to come to an agreement. X

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