I'm a single mum with an 8 year old daughter. I have always suspected there is 'something' around her behaviour. I am certain her Dad has something undiagnosed and I tick a lot of boxes for female ADHD and sensory issues so it makes sense she could be on the spectrum too.
She was born with a condition where her right ear didn't form in utero so she has hearing difficulties. She wears an aide for school but refuses at home. She can hear from her left ear though. I don't know if some behaviours are also linked to her hearing issue.
So some of the things I question are her relationships at school. There always seems to be a child who has done something to her daily. She gets highly sensitive and so and so has done this to her today. Usually things that a lot of kids would just ignore but there is always an issue with other children. Even strangers, she will say they are looking at her. There does seem to be a few particular girls who are displaying mean behaviour but every week there is always a new kid doing something that she doesn't like. She is the same with her cousins. Always falling out with them.
She will always do things I have told her not to do. It's like she doesn't register what I have said but she has heard me. Often it is like she hasn't grown up from being a toddler because some of her behaviours are still the same.
Bedtime is a major problem. She can't seem to switch off. It takes a long time for her to go to sleep even if I give her some calming therapies. She fidgets and keeps talking. She also will not sleep in her bed. She sleeps in mine. If I try to get her into her bed she cries with anxiety. She doesn't like me leaving the room either and gets anxiety around that. I have always felt she can't seem to calm down and non-stop talker. She also interrupts despite being told so many times not to and to wait. It's like she can't help herself.
She won't take responsibility for anything she has done and everything always seems to be others fault. for example, I turned on the smoothie maker a few days ago and the kitten was startled so ended up scratching her slightly. She said it was my fault and would not accept it was an accident and chain of events but that is was me who caused the kitten to scratch her.
She has sensory issues. If something loud goes past, for example a loud motorbike, she becomes distressed and holds her ears. Also the same with sirens or loud alarms. Also, she becomes distressed if we go to the Doctors or auditory department. She won't let them put things in her ear, mouth etc. She ends up crying.
School have never mentioned anything and she is this smiley, pleasant child at school as far as they are concerned but at home she is different.
My niece has autism and ADHD but this is evident at school too. When I speak with my sister about my daughter she does have some behaviours similar to my niece plus I have friends with children diagnosed on the spectrum who can relate to some of my concerns.
I feel I don't know what to do here. Part of me feels there is something with her and part of me thinks I am maybe overreacting and she may be doing things typical for her age, despite when I see other kids her age, they don't seem to be doing some of the things she does. I just don't know and I feel frustrated around it all.
This is obviously a short version of some of the things going on and there are much more but I just wanted some advice is this a typical 8 year old or does it sound like she may have possible autism/ADHD? If so, what next?
Thanks in advance.