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Parenting

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Safeguarding and changing a child arrangement order

6 replies

ButterfliesAndRainbows1985 · 09/07/2023 07:56

I will try and keep this as short as possible. I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar position.
My child’s ex and I had a horrible relationship. Which got worse when I left. It ended up going to court and the court issued a restraining order on my behalf.
He then met someone else. My child was going to stay with them both. But repeatedly reported violent outbursts between the pair. I had to collect my child a few times due to the seriousness of the ‘arguments’. I’ve made numerous reports to children’s social care. After a number of failed investigations, they basically told me they could no longer help. But I kept logging everything my child told me with them anyway.
I went to court to reduce the time my child spent with them. It went in my favour.
All was quiet for a while. And then out of the blue my child reported another violent incident to me. And also, very luckily reported it to two school teachers (my child never done this before). An EHA was filed via the school. Children’s social care are due to see my child at school soon.
I am obviously currently stopping my child from seeing dad and partner. But by doing so I am in contempt of court. Although I feel safe in knowing that my safeguarding issues will make this a valid reason for doing so.
I have a feeling I’m going to have to make another application to court to change the child arrangement order.
My question being is; has anybody been in a similar position? Cafcass were fully aware of all of my concerns last time we went to court, and still recommended my child spent time there. I do feel slightly more positive this time around that my child has told professionals which I feel will make my case stronger. But I’m worried that even after all of this, even after a new application is submitted, they’re still going to say my child should be going there and continue have to to be a witness to domestic violence. I basically have very little faith in the court system or children’s social care anymore 😢

OP posts:
Conflicted2023 · 10/07/2023 19:05

Sorry you are going through this.
I didn’t want to read and run.
My experience is cafcas and the courts want to maintain contact above all else.

I’m waiting for DC to reach an age where they can have their voice heard. It’s unbelievable this is the system we inflict on children.

exasperatedexwife · 16/10/2023 22:44

@ButterfliesAndRainbows1985 can I ask where you are with this now? What happened for you?
I'm in a similar situation now, 2 referrals from school, 1 from doctors, DS disclosing physical and emotional stuff. I've stopped contact. Need to know next steps.

Theunamedcat · 16/10/2023 22:46

How old is DS?

Interested in this thread?

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Quitelikeit · 16/10/2023 22:51

You best bet is to actually get the child to communicate with you via iPad or whatever that there is violence and arguing.

At this point you call the police to tell them your child has contacted you and is afraid. They will carry out a safe and well check.

I do not believe you can be in contempt of court if you are keeping your child away from suffering significant harm.

Quitelikeit · 16/10/2023 22:53

This darn system is so dangerous and sends our precious children into
harms way!

Calling the police is just necessary here and you’ll need the evidence to try and get the court to see a minute of sense (well if you’re lucky )

exasperatedexwife · 17/10/2023 22:40

Thanks all, DS is 6, safe with me currently. SS and police are now involved and he's told both he doesn't want to see Dad currently.

SS have today communicated to this to Dad. I've offered professionally supervised. We did 18 months of that previously, nothings chamged, it only stopped 9 months ago. Solicitor is my next job tomorrow.

We did all of this three years ago only DS was too small to verbalise what was happening at home. In the middle of covid it was just my voice and it was silenced. The family court system is not fit for purpose.

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