Toddler stages?

[mumandons]

Hi,

My toddler is 17 months and for last few weeks out of nowhere been throwing tantrums everyday most of the day! We put it down to her teeth but it's getting worse .

I'm a first time mum and finding this really hard to settle her if she don't get her own way.

I take her to toddler clubs and swimming twice week to get some engery out of her but nothing seems to be working?

Please does anyone have any advice, please no hate just want some advice.

How is her sleep? Is she eating well? All 3 of mine would have major meltdowns id either hungry or tired. An sudden increase in tantrums sometimes meant that they were unexpectedly hungry/tired because they were just starting a growth spurt. Teething can also be a trigger, partly because it messes up sleep/food so they are uncomfortable, tired and grumpy!

Try increasing how often you offer food. Slightly earlier nap/bed if you can (not always easy!!!).

Try to identify common triggers. Is it transitioning activities? If so, give her warning e.g. we will.do this for 2 more minutes then do something else. 1 more minute. Right, now we are going to do X! Won't that be fun!

Toddlers love being outdoors. It gives them freedom and exploration. Get outside in the morning if you can, a 15 minute walk straight after breakfast can make SUCH a difference, longer if you fancy it. Do you have a garden?

How do you deal.with tantrums? They can't be totally avoided, but there are ways that may help them get over it sooner.

It’s a difficult age, @mumandons . I found my DS pretty tough at around this point as he couldn’t really communicate and although everyone will say they understand, they don’t really.

The next three to six months will see things get easier. She’ll be able to communicate more and her understanding will improve.

Thank you for your message :)

She sleeps 7-5am but wakes few times in the night. She loves her naps so had about 2 a day. She hasn't eaten much this week as she been picky but wonder if weather not helped.

we have garden and she screams when i have to take her back in! Ok thank you i will try morning walks after breakfast.

It’s really tough because they have views but can’t express them. The ‘terrible twos’ actually tend to start around 18 months so you’re not unusual!

Once you’ve eliminated hungry/ tired/ bored/ uncomfortable as causes, you’ve basically got two options. First is distract (reasonable easy when they’re little), or ignore (they’ll get bored of tantrumming and learn to wind down themselves).

Never give in unless you want them doing this about everything!

Sounds ok sleep wise (waking a few times is totally normal at this age, it doesn't seem to make any difference to them as far as I can tell as long as the wake is short).

If she's a bit off her food because of the weather, do try to sneak a couple of extra calories in. Cold half grapes are usually a winner with mine, as are yoghurts.

If she likes being in the garden, be in the garden as much as you can! Obviously you don't want to be giving in to tantrums and there are times toddlers can't have what they want... but avoidance is useful! Find ways to be outside as much as possible. Picnics are lovely! If you've got adequate shade you can be out for a lot of the day. Do you have a messy play tray? They're basically a big plastic tray with small sides. There are so Many things they are great for in for weather. Little bit of water in the bottom and some cups/boats.... fun for an hour or so. Much less faff and water waste than with a paddling pool. Lots of very educational things you can do it them too.

When you do have to come in, give warnings. Also tell her the reason e.g. we're going in now to (have a snack/do some painting/read a story). Keep the focus on the fun thing that's about to happen rather than stopping what she is currently enjoying.

If she does tantrum. Look sad to show her you understand. Tell her how she feels "DC feels sad! So sad! Dc is crying". Honestly, just reflecting back at then sometimes makes a huge difference - they want to communicate with you and get so frustrated that they cant and you dontnunderstand. Even if you aren't giving them what they want, it helps to.show they have communicated to.you. Then move onto distraction and stay positive.