Toddler Walking with a mind of her own

[LQBear]

My 15 month old has been walking for a good few months now, and she will get to a point where she wants out of the pram and wants to walk around particularly around shops. The trouble is she refuses to hold my hand, follow me or even look at me when I call her name, she simply wants to do her own thing. I'm thinking of investing in some reigns but don't want to look like I'm just dragging her around the shops whilst she desperately tries to run off in the opposite direction. So do I just ride this out or is there something I can do to get her family with what she should and shouldn't be doing when walking around? TIA

Go for the reins on her (or one of those arm lead things).
I can guarantee you that in some supermarket/shopping centre right now this minute there is a stubborn toddler who is being pulled along the floor by a set of reins 😂

Reins are a life saver at that stage. The old fashioned harness ones especially as you can put them on her at home and then when she wants out of the pushchair you can let her out without fiddling around to get something on - and equally put her back with them on.

I had a little backpack with a lead on it (essentially!) for DC, looks nicer than reins and can hold onto it while pushing the buggy. I never had to yank him with it though. That was mainly from 20 months as that’s when I had DC2.

But if she can’t walk alongside you then she can’t be let out of the pushchair when you are in busy places. 15 months is a bit young to follow instructions or to learn to walk next to you.

Reins. Absolutely nothing wrong with them.
They give a bit of freedom whilst keeping her safe.

If you really don't want to use reins you need to go hard core on hold Mummy's hand or back in the pushchair. And stick to it.

We had a couple of days where she did really well with following instructions, but I think she's cottoned on to the fact that she can have all this freedom. But those little backpacks do look cute, I guess I could do a few practice runs around the garden with her

Reins are the way to go at this age.

The back packs with reins are great. You're more likely to look like you're dragging them about if you're struggling to hold on to their wrists. With reins they have the illusion of freedom and are less likely to resist.

Two things,

Either reigns (you can attach it to a clip on the buggy so you still have hands), or the consequence that if she doesn't hold hands she has to go back in the pushchair. Just simply "hands or pushchair?". And if she runs off "pushchair then". She will soon get the gist!

Love this advice, it'll obviously be hard the first few times but she will soon get the idea

Reins or the backpack, whichever gives you more control - don't worry about whether it looks cute or not, what matters is keeping your child safe while she's little. Even when she starts to be able to understand and follow instructions, she's still too young to be reliable.

It may not be hard - my dd was quite strong willed, but didn't really object to reins like a pony.

I was going to say exactly this. She needs to get the idea that roaming free in busy places is not an option. Back in the pushchair every time she refuses.

Give the reins a go…but from my experience, they are more designed for a child who is mostly happy to walk in the right direction but is at risk of running off or darting into the road. At 15 months DS was a complete free roamer as well and gave no sh*ts about following me anywhere. Whilst the reins could physically stop him, they couldn’t be used to drag him in the direction I wanted, not regularly anyway. Until he had some sense of the need to follow me it was child friendly places only or he stayed in the pram. Give them a go though - you might have more luck!

And try to balance the necessary times where she has to be in the pram, or walking close holding hands, when you're getting to a place or in a shop, with plenty of freedom time out in a park or a playground or on a beach or in woods - wherever, when you aren't trying to get to somewhere by a particular time or to rush her, she's got all the time she wants to toddle by herself and become engrossed by ants for ten minutes. So eventually she will learn that yes sometimes this is a walking close with mummy time, but other times she is free to do what she wants.

Agreed but with one tweak: my DD liked the compromise of holding the pushchair, rather than holding my hand. It was more comfortable for her (reaching across rather than reaching up) and gave her an illusion of choice.

I let my 14m roam free in most places we visit, but almost everywhere we go is child friendly tbh. I rarely take her to shops as we do grocery shopping online, and most non-grocery shopping is online too. I'm rarely in any shop for more than 5 mins. I find it easier to focus on my shopping when I don't have to think about keeping dc occupied, and nicer for them not to be strapped to the buggy for long periods. I think it's good to allow toddlers a chance to roam and explore when you can, then when they're tired (or napping!) then you can get the boring chores done.

Toddlers are random little things 🤣🤣

They absolutely just want to run and explore and usually when having them in a pushchair would make everyone's life easier!

I agree those backpacks are brilliant.

I used a backpack with a dog lead attached until ds was 7 (he's autistic) because he just couldn't understand that just because he knew where he was didn't mean I did if he wandered off 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

When he was a toddler I'd put the handle of the pack pack reins over the handle of the pushchair. So many people thought it odd but he learnt to walk alongside the pushchair and if I stopped he couldn't just run off!!!

My advice is also to do anything like shops etc during nap or snack time. Much easier to keep them in a pushchair with a snack and then falling asleep!

You'll find what works for you.