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What could your child do by the time they started school?

15 replies

DepartmentOfMysteries · 06/07/2023 20:14

My oldest daughter starts school in September, and over the last couple of months I've realised that I don't really know how well prepared she is.
I work part time, and she goes to a childminder 3 days a week, but has never been to nursery/preschool. We spend most of our time playing/baking/exploring etc, and I haven't focussed too much on formalised learning, but now I'm worried that was a mistake!
I know a couple of other parents with children the same age, but I've never really asked them what their child's specific abilities are as I don't want it to feel like a competition. However, it's clear that they are a bit ahead of my daughter in a few ways, and I'm worried that I've failed her by not sending her to preschool or properly preparing her for school!

She is potty trained and can dress herself independently, although sometimes needs help with buttons/shoes/zips.

She can eat with a fork and spoon, but struggles to use a knife properly unless for very soft things.

She is quite aware of other people and good at sharing, friendly to other people she knows, but shy with new people/situations. She does get easily upset when something unexpected happens or she can't have something she really wants. She doesn't tantrum any more, but it can take her a while to calm down.

She can write and read her name, recognise and sound out most of the alphabet, and write maybe half of the alphabet. She is starting to write and read three letter words. Only just starting to recognise sounds like 'sh' and 'th'.

She can recite numbers up to about 40, maybe count that far too, though never checked. She can write numbers up to 10 with prompts, but only recognise up to around 7. I've never attempted any sums.

She knows all the main colours and is starting to think about blending colours.

She can recognise and draw a circle, triangle, square and heart, but not any other shapes really.

She draws stick men with faces, hair and belly buttons, but doesn't normally do hands/fingers or clothes. She draws other things like her teddies, animals, houses, bikes, trees, which are just about recognisable!

Does this sound about right for starting reception? What kind of things were your children doing? Is there anything else that you would recommend we do with her before starting school? She definitely won't be the oldest, but her birthday is before Christmas so in the older half. I'm hoping that her friends are just a bit more advanced than average and there is nothing to worry about!

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PuttingDownRoots · 06/07/2023 20:22

I would work on zips buttons and cutting things up. Also putting gloves and hat on.

The academic stuff sounds fine though.

WeightoftheWorld · 06/07/2023 21:50

PuttingDownRoots · 06/07/2023 20:22

I would work on zips buttons and cutting things up. Also putting gloves and hat on.

The academic stuff sounds fine though.

I agree with this.

My DC will probably be the eldest in her class, quite likely even the year group, as she's just turned 5 but will be starting reception in September.

Her abilities sound similar to your DC's. I'd say my DD seems to have better fine motor skills - she can do most zips, buttons etc herself now, and she draws more/more intricately than you describe. However, she can't confidently read more than about half of the letters of the alphabet, she only has number recognition up to about 5 I think and can only confidently count to 30. Her social/emotional skills sound very similar.

MsJuniper · 06/07/2023 21:55

That sounds similar to my DD last year and she is getting on well now. You could practise subitising (recognising the number of items / dots without counting). Games involving dice or cards are good for this.

Most important are practical skills such as dressing/undressing, using the toilet, opening and closing various types of fastening (eg water bottles); and co-operative/ social skills such as being able to listen and follow instruction, turn taking, being able to deal with small setbacks like not getting your choice of felt tip or losing a game.

Schools often use mini whiteboards and those magic drawing boards so that might be good to practise with too.

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Hiddiddleyho · 06/07/2023 21:57

Sounds perfect op. I hope she loves school!

AegonT · 06/07/2023 22:30

A childminder is a great place for her to be three days a week and it sounds like she will start slightly ahead academically as she is starting to read and can write her name. Be careful that she's forming the letters properly. In our middle class area she would have been one of the more able ones in my daughter's year.

DepartmentOfMysteries · 06/07/2023 22:53

Thank you for all your helpful replies, I very much appreciate the time taken. We will work on fine motor skills/dressing herself and letter formation. Hopefully we will get to the point where she can read and write all the letters of the alphabet by the time she starts, and I can relax a bit and focus on enjoying my last few months with her as a preschooler!

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JustAnotherRandom · 06/07/2023 23:40

Enjoy your time with her. There is such a mix of abilities in reception. There will be kids who can't do what your DD can and kids who will be further along. Play dough is good for developing fine motor skills.

Wicksytricksy · 07/07/2023 07:20

I think practical stuff is key - buttons, shoes, zips, hanging up coats, getting tights on and off. At DDs school they change for PE rather than going in wearing their kit so getting ready, keeping her things in her own pile, getting changed back in to school clothes. Wiping bum properly 🫣

Opening water bottle/snack box, depending on how lunch works she might need to ask for her own dinner so lots of practice in cafes helped my DD.

StephanieSuperpowers · 07/07/2023 07:25

I wouldn't worry about letter formation - they're going to do that in school anyway, it'll be very dull for her if she has to learn it again.

She sounds fine, OP. She can largely manage her clothes and physical needs, she sounds like she's had plenty of stimulating activities, you obviously care and take an interest so she'll have the support at home. Right now, I'd focus on spending these precious few weeks having fun together.

BendingSpoons · 07/07/2023 07:29

It all sounds fine! At the meeting for Reception parents, they said ideally children will:

  • get dressed including shoes, coat but acknowledged not all will manage zips
  • go to the toilet independently
  • open their own lunchbox or use a knife and fork
  • ask for help, drink, toilet etc and say how they are feeling if unwell or upset
  • recognise their name on their peg and in labels

They suggested

  • reading stories
  • writing patterns e.g. zigzags, circles
  • building strength e.g. in playground, carrying shopping etc
  • fine motor e.g. playdough, threading cheerios on spaghetti!
Raindancer411 · 07/07/2023 07:35

To be honest my son could do hardly anything as we just concentrated on him having fun! He is also the youngest in his year.

He is now off to grammar, so I don't put more pressure on yourself or your child, just enjoy!! They will all get there.

My second is going in September and she cannot write, read or do many numbers, but I am not worried again. She will get there too

Aozora13 · 07/07/2023 07:43

I agree with others on focusing on practical rather than academic things. But don’t worry, there will be a huge variation in the class. My eldest had just turned 4 when she started and struggled with zips and buttons, couldn’t use a knife and could barely write her name. My middlest is starting in September and will turn 5 in October and can do all the things you listed and more. It all evens out as they get older.

redskytwonight · 07/07/2023 07:48

I would focus on the practical things (dressing, putting shoes on and off, taking turns, using the toilet, using cutlery, following instructions) rather than the academic things.

The main things that's useful is being able to recognise her own first name (as it will be used on labels etc) or first name + initial of surname if she's likely to share a first name with someone else in the class.

ChocHotolate · 07/07/2023 08:20

As others have said, it sounds like she is doing really well. Maybe look at can she carry a tray with objects on without dropping them (useful if she's having school dinners)? Can she wait her turn?

DepartmentOfMysteries · 07/07/2023 10:31

Thank you for all the useful replies. She has a younger sister, so luckily has quite a lot of practice waiting her turn and trying to regulate disappointment etc (although still a way to go...) I will focus on practical and emotional things, I'm not sure I've ever asked her to carry a tray or open her own lunch box! Also, being able to ask for help and articulate emotions to teachers is something I'll try to work on, as I can imagine her being quite shy and reticent initially. Very good pointers, and reassuring to know that she seems okay on the academic side too.

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