What age your children start getting ready to school independently

[purpleyellowiris]

My dc is six years old.

He wakes up most mornings without being called on/ without alarm.

Breakfast - he asks for it. Only at weekends he'll attempt helping himself. (I need to make access to bowls etc easier for him). He asks for something extra too (another yoghurt etc) even if he had extra - takes a very long time eating it.

Bathroom - I need to tell him to go up brush teeth, use toilet etc. several times. He wants me to go with him. Mucks about on the way to and from.

Dressing himself - I need to tell him (yell) many times to do it. Takes forever.

Shoes- needs to be told it's time to put shoes on.

Doesn't check book bag to see it's all inside, but will remind me if I'm forgetting lunch pack/ water bottle. Also, reminds me if it's PE day.

When did your kids start getting ready for school by themselves?

(I'm sure that's all linked to willingness/ reluctance to go to school but I feel like I'm making excuses at this point.)

Also when you really do not want to do something but have to do it, what do you tell yourself? I know the way I speak to him is how he'll prob speak to himself when he's older and I want to get it right as much as possible (I can get really frustrated).

NHS advice is to start brushing own teeth from 7 under supervision so we started doing this a couple of months ago when she turned 7. She good at doing all of this but sometimes needs to reminding to put down book/toys and focus on the task at hand. I’m just starting to teach her to make sure her bag is organised for the next day when she empties it the night before and to put in her water bottle/snack in the morning.

She wasn’t able to do it at 6 and taking to other Mum’s I know some 7 years can’t do it yet but their younger siblings do.

But I don’t expect her to get her own breakfast yet.

@Caravanvirgin thank you!

The breakfast he eats at the moment is cereal, which I think he can start helping himself with. He's good at pouring milk and he reach the crease and cutlery. I need to just a leave a bowl for him... But he doesn't seem to have the energy/ motivation/ willingness to do it on a school morning.

*he can reach the cereal

I have 3dc between 10 and 5. My eldest can get ready completely independently and thats probably happened within the last 2 years? My younger 2 tend to follow his lead so I rarely have to prompt them apart from when we are just about to leave where I ask them to put their shoes on and get their bags.

Oh and although they are able to get their breakfast themselves as they do on a weekend, I always make it for them. Its a lot for them to be doing their own breakfast at their age and surely if your there it is quicker and easier?

My 6 year is exactly the same although I notice that when she has a school trip and is excited to go in she can get herself ready without any prompting!
im thinking when she goes into year 2 of making some kind of schedule with her, she can do drawing or decorate it so she can be invested in it and that she can tick off each morning when she has done each task so that it becomes ingrained in her mind and maybe some kind of treat when she does it all by herself but I’ll probably work up to that rather than expect too much too soon.
Other thing we do is that if she gets up and ready in time she has time to play in the morning but that can create issues of irs own when she doesn’t want to stop.
i already get her to lay out her clothes the night before to make it quicker in the morning

I was the youngest and remember getting ready and taking myself to school from very early on- I guess I was just copying the older siblings! :-)

That sounds like a lovely idea.

We did write a little schedule together on his board with time x task to complete but we didn't follow through for long enough.
We should give it a go again now that's he's a bit older.

Yes, it's about wanting for it to start being habitual for him where we don't need to have long conversations (nagging from me) before he's dressed etc.

By about 8 DD would get ready almost entirely independently (and considering at 6 I was actually getting her dressed myself while she slept, I think that's quite a big improvement!), it was only the waking up that was the issue - I always had to wake her, often multiple times. At 10 she started using an alarm and since then she's got herself ready completely independent.

It varies, between 6&8 they should be getting to the point they can get themselves ready without much prompting but still need some supervision, between 8&10 most children get to the point they no longer need prompting and can get ready independently of you including suitable breakfast

I have 5 dc aged between 17 and 9. The 15 year old is the only one completely independent in the mornings. The 17 year old needs at least one wake up call, usually 2. The 12 year old can do everything himself but needs reminding/nagging to do everything. The 10 year old is more organised than the 12 year old but needs reminders to have breakfast, brush teeth and put shoes on. The 9 year old can mostly manage on non uniform/pe days but needs help with shirt buttons and tie. He is slower than the others so I usually put his toast in the toaster for him as well and butter it too if we are running late.

Mine are 10 and 8 and can do all the actual tasks independently (except cutting up fruit as I don’t want them using sharp knives if I’m upstairs) but they do need prompting to do the next step. So I am still saying, now get your cereal, now brush teeth, now pack your bag, now get your coat, shoes etc. And I have to repeat multiple times especially for the 8 yo who is very easily distracted.

Nothing to do with willingness to go to school, DC love school, DC1 especially but they still need these prompts to remember the next step. If I didn’t prompt them they would probably do it eventually…and be ready about 10am.

At 6? I do it all with him (so am with him while he dresses) I make his breakfast and do his bag. He's 6 - that's pretty little still?

DS is nearly 9 and capable of doing all the individual steps but left to himself would spend the entire time reading or messing about.

We're trying to get him to be more independent but even when he's really motivated he still gets distracted easily which makes me think it's a brain maturity thing. So we keep trying to encourage him and hope it will click one day. 10ish seems to be an age where lots of children get better ability to manage time so fingers crossed.

Thank you for the responses.

My 9 year old does everything himself, needs no prompting. Well, we make his packed lunch but he does the rest. The 13 year old less so - we make him breakfast otherwise he wouldn’t eat any!