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Parenting

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AIBU- to take my child’s father to court over money owed?

9 replies

Par155 · 04/07/2023 01:39

I lent my DC father money last year on the promise I’d have it back that same month.

It’s coming up to a year and he has had more money since. To be specific it is over 1k. DC father has not provided anything for DC since child has been alive and has been nothing but abusive, controlling…all the classical features of a narcissist. Although it can be financially draining providing everything for my child alone without any help, am I being unreasonable to take DC father to court for the money he owes me? I have asked for it back more than once, he says he will and he never does.

I think it’s very audacious to not provide for your child and then lend money from the sole provider without giving it back.

If I am to do this it’s going to cause a lot of Sh** but I am tired of my kindness being taken advantage of and quite frankly I don’t just give away my hard earned money during a cost of living crisis.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
lousyatchoosingnames · 04/07/2023 02:43

I would write it off and never lend to him again. It will take forever, it will drag on. Let him keep £1k and you walk with your head high.

lousyatchoosingnames · 04/07/2023 02:44

The only reason I suggest this is because he's a narc, he'll make it difficult for you and enjoy the pain you go through to get any money back.

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Sarahzb · 05/07/2023 00:23

Make him squirm

Sarahzb · 05/07/2023 00:29

And a CCj may concentrate his mind

Carryonkeepinggoing · 05/07/2023 01:37

You could start a claim for child maintenance. Then he’d have to a least start paying you that.

LordSalem · 05/07/2023 02:16

Carryonkeepinggoing · 05/07/2023 01:37

You could start a claim for child maintenance. Then he’d have to a least start paying you that.

I second this. For what he owes you'd need to have substantial proof of him bc agreeing to pay back. He can still find ways to trick CMS but it's always worth opening and actively pursuing a claim.

AllotmentTime · 05/07/2023 06:59

Why either/or? Start court proceedings AND start a CMS claim. You might get one or the other and that would be an improvement in getting nothing!

Barbie222 · 05/07/2023 07:04

It depends what sort of undertaking he gave to pay it back, tbh. If it was just a verbal promise I doubt you gave much of a case? I'd write it off and approach CMS.

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