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Parenting

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My ex/son’s father has cut off contact

4 replies

Cashews1 · 03/07/2023 13:03

I have a 15 month old son with my ex and up until recently we have been co parenting fine. He sees him every weekend and we normally take him to the park together one evening in the week.

However, I’ve started seeing someone. We have only been one 2 dates and tbh I know I don’t even want to be in a new relationship just yet but it’s more for me to get some time to go out and I also enjoy his company.

I didn’t feel the need to tell my ex but when I met up with my date a few weeks ago, I saw his friend in the same pub. I knew he would tell my ex that he’d seen me out with someone but I thought ‘oh well it is what it is’ kinda thing. Later that day I got a series of angry messages from my ex saying how much he hates me, that he can’t believe I’ve done this etc. Meanwhile my ex has already moved on by the way! So I replied saying ‘I don’t care.’ I know that was petty but tbh he doesn’t have the right to be mad at me when I never said anything about him seeing other women, other than to not bring her round our son until he’s sure about her.

Ever since then I’ve been blocked (3 weeks.) My son has not seen his dad and keeps saying ‘daddy.’ He even pointed to a man down the street who looked quite similar and said ‘daddy’ and got all excited. This of course wasn’t his dad!

OP posts:
Fiddlesticks82 · 03/07/2023 13:05

Doesn’t sound like much of a loss in your son’s life tbh.

has he continued to pay maintenance

and if you don’t want a new relationship - why not focus on being with friends?

Cashews1 · 03/07/2023 13:15

@Fiddlesticks82 Agreed. He’s shown he doesn’t care.
I just don’t know how to handle things if and when he does decide to resume contact. I know my son will be so happy to see him but I think it’s a bit cruel to be inconsistent with a child like that.
Also yes he did pay maintenance and I would love to go out with friends instead but they all live quite far from me now so it gets a bit lonely.

OP posts:
PTSDBarbiegirl · 03/07/2023 13:20

See a lawyer and get a watertight maintenance arrangement in place. You can't control what he does and it seems like he's using your child to hurt you. This won't be an easy relationship long term if he's willing to emotionally blackmail you via your son when things happen he doesn't like. Look after you 2.

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MaxwellCat · 03/07/2023 22:25

Stop doing things with him then you dont need to go to the park together i think that was a mistake

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