how to feel happier/cope

[aquasausage]

i have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. i am finding it so hard i’m just sat here crying. my house is a pig sty, no matter how much i clean and tidy it looks like a bomb went off within an hour again and i can’t keep up. dh does potter about and help but not enough, he says he’s always tidying but he doesn’t understand how it’s always back to square one everyday and won’t tidy to that extent. i find myself getting really overwhelmed with the noise - baby crying, toddler yelling, dh puts his music on. makes me feel like screaming and sometimes i do just shout at everyone.
i feel like i can’t breathe. like i’m constantly walking around with a plastic bag on my head like i actually feel like i can’t breathe when it gets bad. i just don’t know what to do anymore.

and to add to that the financial side is taking a massive toll on my mental health. on maternity leave and will have to go back soon but my job will only offer me 8 hours so i’ll have to find something else, but i am also scared to leave kids with dh cause everytime i do i feel like i come back to crying / screaming

Is the 2YO in nursery? If not I’d want to do at least 2 days a week for a breather and a chance to get stuff done during baby’s naps. It’s really nice for them too as they do enjoy being with kids their own age, plus nursery does all the messy play stuff I don’t want to clean up!

she’s in one day a week but can’t afford more than that

Sorry to hear you're struggling OP.

Try to ignore the mess. Yes, it's a massive pita. But if it's back to square 1 each day anyway..... just do one proper tidy a week so that you can clean, and otherwise step over it!!! If it's not too often you're doing it then your 2yo might help. Put on "tidying" music. It doesn't matter if they aren't much actual help, you're bulding habits so when they are 3/4 they can actually tidy up effectively - that makes life much easier. My eldest is 6 now, and not only tidies up her own toys (with reminding sometimes) she also helps me tidy up her brothers' mass now and then, which is fabulous.

Otherwise, keep accessible toys at a minimum - only get out one thing at a time and keep.other stuff out of reach. it's good for developing their attention span too. Cull as many toys as you can - only keep open ended toys that both children might use. Anything you don't want to clean up goes to the charity shop or put of reach.

Noise-wise you probably just have to wait out. It's less mind-numbing outdoors though.... reasonable to ask DH to keep.his music down though - can he wear earphones sometimes? Explain that noise is very tiring and you don't get much quiet time.

You sound like you need some time to yourself. Sounds like DH can't cope.in a way that actually.allows.you to.relax... but can he do eldest? Could he take eldest out for a decent trip to playground/ice cream for long enough that you'll be able to put your feet up for at least one baby nap? My DH takes eldest out and 8 have been known to nap while the toddlers snooze.....

Sorry posted the above in the wrong place by accident!!!