Tips for ending breastfeeding please

[ElmtreeMama]

My DD us coming up to 20 months.

She still feeds what I would consider to be a lot. She has also just fed on demand without any schedule.

I've always thought over time this would reduce to bedtime and naptime for instance but some days it feels like she's on and off all day! Feeding multiple times an hour and not showing any signs of wanting to stop.

I've loved feeding her but I'm ready to wind it down now even if that takes time.

We've been reading booby moon this last few weeks though I dont think any of it is going in.

Any other tips or even stories of a milk obsessed toddler who did happily self wean at some point?

I had to stop mine, around 18m as I was just touched out. I mainly used distraction and also just said 'not right now, I don't want to', let's have a cuddle/read a book/ have some juice etc etc. it's ok to say no.

I got them down to nap time and bed time feeds and if they had hurt themselves.

To night wean (we co-slept) I slept in the spare bed until milk had gone, about a week.

Look up Emma Pickett on Instagram. She’s an expert is toddler weaning. Loads of great books, resources and information to help you pick the right path for you.

My MIL took my 2.5yo for a few days.

When I wanted to reduce to just morning and night, if she asked for it during the day I made a big deal of getting her 'milk in a cup!' Instead.... just a bit of cows milk in a special cup.

Not what you want to hear, I know, but I found that was a tricky age for us and I slightly wanted to stop but found it easier to carry on and stop at around 2 and a half.

At 1 and a half, they're too old to just stop without some conversation/explanation, but not really old enough to understand the explanation.

Obviously if you want to/need to stop then others will have proper advice. But if, like me at the time, you're thinking "I have to stop at some point, this can't go on forever, and it'll only get harder to stop the longer we do it!" Just be assured that's probably not true, because I think it's much easier to stop at/after 2yo. They can reason more by then, and can eat more food, and can be distracted with a bigger variety of tasks.

Ps I felt my dd didn't learn any sort of empathy until 2yo. Reasoning on that basis really helped us wean. Eg if it made me sore, or I was too tired, she actually understood Mummy is a person who has feelings. Before 2yo I don't think she could reason that far. So that's the sort of thing I mean about it being easier after 2yo

Dd was just short of two when I stopped and tbh I should have stopped long before as I got quite resentful of it, she was on and off all the time too.

We switched to feeds only after breakfast, lunch and dinner. If she asked outside those times I'd say 'we'll wait til after the next meal'. If she was ill then that went out the window though!

Then I cut down so she didn't have one after lunch, then after brek etc. I finally finally stopped when I got pregnant again, before I knew I was pregnant I just had a strong revulsion for it, my body just have been trying to tell me something!

Follow @thebreadtfeedingmentor on Instagram! She specialises in gentle weaning :)

We used the Booby Moon book! At around that age too. I didn't follow the instructions at the back, just started reading it every day. Then one day in the night when she woke and wanted milk I said whatever the line is in the book about milk not being there at night/asleep, and would she like some water and we would cuddle instead. She cried for about 3 minutes in my arms and went back to sleep. Woke again the next night and I told her the same thing and after that she didn't ask for it at night. Then for the morning feed I just got up and gave her a baby bottle with milk in (she had never taken one before!) and she drank it happily. I didn't get back in bed with her, which previously I would have done while she had boobs and I had a coffee and we watched tv! Instead I got up and pottered about for a bit. She never asked for boobs in the morning again. For bed time, I got DH to make a big deal of getting her a present and that it was just for her and I wasn't to see it - it was a cup in her favourite colour for milk at bedtime but ONLY for when Daddy did bedtime. She wanted Daddy from then on and so that was the end of me feeding her!

Following as in the same boat. Dd 22 months, also has always fed a lot and to no schedule. Not what you'll want to hear but I tried to stop a couple of weeks ago, it resulted in a week of very little sleep until I eventually gave in and started feeding her again 😬

For the relentless daytime snacking, I followed a suggestion on MN. I would ask if they wanted milk, then we needed to go to their room to do it. He was a little confused at first as he's used to just helping himself 20million times a day.

This stopped the snacking as he had to really want it get up and go to another room - the lure of playing/ reading/ TV was too much. He did still take my hand sometimes and ask to go to his room but this only lasted a few days.

We are doing to morning and night now and no more breastfeeding tops when out and about!

I now need to figure out how to drop all feeds or at least let me have a break once in a while!

Thanks so much everyone, some really helpful tips.
I've started today just saying things like let's count to ten first or let's sing a song first more just to try and stop thr very quick snacks feeds.

Will definitely take everything you've said on board xx