Being at home with a baby

[RedRobyn2021]

My DD is 2 now but I was thinking about when she was a baby and I was on mat leave how we only left the house once a day to walk the dog in the afternoon and we only went to one baby class a week from when she was 9 months. We live rurally so I would often see nobody.

I have started to feel quite bored recently, I've been a SAHM since Feb and we have a routine of going out to a toddler group/playgroup/swimming/library/nature reserve in the morning for a couple of hours then home for a nap then walking the dog in the afternoon. And it seems almost inconceivable that I spent so much time at home when she was a baby.

I am feeling a bit lonely now but I felt painfully lonely then, it's something I hadn't even considered before having a baby.

We're thinking about having our next and I really don't want things to be like that again. Although this next time should be slightly different as DD was born at the beginning of the last lockdown.

Is there anyone else who has experienced similar? How did you find things with number 2?

Have you got mum friends through your child? I met some nice mums through a hypnobirthing class when I was pregnant with my 3rd. Do you use the peanut app? Mum groups on Facebook?

Are you worried you'll be lonely if you have another baby? You'll have your toddler as well though, so you'll be forced to keep up with her routines for the most part..?

Have a 3 yo and imminently about to have number 2. There is just no way I’ll be able to stay in the house for days on end this time as DS will still need his routine of activities/exercise to stop us all going bonkers. Surely you’d just stick to your toddlers routine (maybe not swimming solo with 2 though) and baby will come along with you?

Pretty much what @VivaVivaa said. I was bored with my first and didn't go out that much other than dog walks. It took until they were 6.5 to have baby 2 who I'm off work with currently. It's been brilliant so far this time round, between the school run, my eldest's activities, now having more mum friends, original friends who didn't have children first time round who now do, the odd baby group and just being a bit more confident in getting on with it and doing what I want a little more (E.g I did a guided nature walk, have gone out for lunch more) it's been a completely different experience this time round. I still feel 100% me but with a cute little baby. First time round I felt like I'd changed immeasurably and didn't know what to do with myself.

I had DD who is almost 3 and I have DS 6 months. Similarly to you, we couldn’t go out much at all because of Covid when DD was a baby. When things started opening up again everything was so much easier and more enjoyable. Things will not be the same for you this time round. Firstly, we’re not in lockdown. Secondly, you have a toddler so you’ll still need to get out and about like you do now. DS tagged along to DD’s toddler group at 2 days old! That comes with its own challenges but it won’t be the same as a long day stuck at home with a baby. Now I have two I appreciate those days too.

@AmilyChestnut

I'm friendly with a few women from the toddler groups we go to and we have both said we should organise meeting up but I haven't suggested anything.

But I wouldn't say we were proper friends atm

@AmilyChestnut we didn't have classes open when I was pregnant or the first few months of DD life because of covid so I found it very hard to meet other mums initially

How have you found making mum friends?

I feel like I am quite friendly with a few of the mums but haven't really made it to a friendship really.

I live in a city so I've always got out every day with both my dcs. My eldest had nursery hours when I had my second so I was able to take them to most of the same baby classes or similar. I don't have many mum friends but I've never felt the need for them really. I make small talk at the classes we go to, but don't progress more than that as I'm quite a private person.

Around here all baby classes are back to normal, although some of them went out of business during the pandemic. But there should be as many as there would normally be. If you are rural there might not be as many, or you might have to travel a bit. I travel up to 45 mins to take my dd to some of her classes, as we moved but the classes back where we lived are really good. So that shouldn't be an issue.