Lazy kids

[Solosinger]

My two boys are 5 and 8 years old.

We don’t really ask much from them except to tidy up after themselves.

I’m literally sick to the back teeth of telling them, today I went up to my 8 year olds room and found loads of sweet wrappers under his bed. We didn’t know he has been taking his snacks upstairs.

Yesterday I came downstairs and on the floor were all the sofa cushions, drink cartons and plastic pots containing their fruit snacks.

Asking them to put away toys is like pulling teeth and we have to ask 100 times. Last night my husband was getting them to tidy up and actually they just slung everything under their beds.

I literally lost the plot and am so sick of the total disregard and complete lack of respect shown to me and their home.

Does anyone else have this? Tips?

Thank You!!

Make it fun.
Set a timer, play some fast music and do it alongside them. 5 minute power tidy followed by something nice. Or do it just before they're going to bed or out to play. Keep it short and sweet.
Regarding the sweets upstairs - be clear what the rules are and what the consequences of not following the rules will be.

They're very young. They're going to need regular coaching.

Set up half an hour each day where they tidy their rooms.

Encourage them to take their dirty plates and cups and rubbish to the kitchen/bin as soon as they're done. My two are 4 and 1 and know this is what they need to do.

Thank you! We’ve now said no food/drink anywhere but the dining table.

I’m not sure about the fun, we usually say quick tidy up before lunch/diner/we go out and that’s when things get slung under the bed.

It‘a pretty easy for them to tidy and they have a big toy box each and a Kallax until with boxes for the bits.

I think they are old enough to know not to Chuck rubbish on the floor!!

They are pretty good after meals at taking plates/bowls out.

@Solosinger they are old enough, but they're not doing it, so they haven't been taught well enough to do it without encouragement yet.

That's not a slight, just a fact that they still currently need teaching.

Sounds tough to get into that situation, even harder to get out!

First thing is to change your attitude. They're not lazy. It's your job as parents to teach them expectations and decide and enforce appropriate consequences.
They don't just magically get to a certain age and start tidying up for no reason.
If you label them lazy then what's the point in trying.
Also watch out for excessive expectations, it's easy to expect a child to clear up instantly but as an adult you actually do it in due course.

Next you can either work with them to come up with a system, or you can enforce consequences unilaterally. Try to work in a way that strengthens your relationship rather than undermining it. I like the idea of a tidy up timer above. And a treat for everyone IE if everything is tidy for a week we will all go to bowling on the weekend, or something.
Good luck!

We’ve done a summer holidays chart thing with 3 things expected every day before they can get tv. Not like they will always get tv as soon as they’ve done them, but if they are asking for tv I can say, have you done all your jobs and then they run off and do whichever haven’t done. It’s only been 5 days so far but seems to be motivating them to do a little every day.

Was was planning on taking them for lunch today, they flatly refused to tidy up, pick up after themselves so we ended up not going-consequence.

This afternoon we asked them to tidy up it went on for 20 minutes! It was just ridiculous there wasn’t much but they was completely ignoring us! They refused again, we was planning on popping out for a while but didn’t go in the end-another consequence.

To get them to do ANYTHING we have to ask multiple times, it’s incredibly frustrating.

My 7 year old is exactly the same

My youngest gets it, tidying makes sense to her and she will do it on her own without asking.

The oldest, it’s not something that registers with his brain so I have to break it down. So “tidy your room” becomes “put all the Lego bricks in the green box”. The best way to get him to tidy is to do it with him, so I will tidy clothes and he does something else, if possible we use a timer and race.

Make it fun. Carrot not stick. I used a mystery mess option and the child that picked up the mystery mess got a sweet. They had the place spotless in minutes. 😂

@Solosinger the things you wanted them to tidy up today, was it rubbish or toys?

'Anything not tidied away in 20 minutes is going in the bin' works wonders, if you're prepared to follow through with it.

This morning was rubbish and toys.

This afternoon just a few toys to put away before we went out.

Hubby threatens throwing things away. He does as well.

Stop asking them and tell them!! If you ask they feel like there’s a choice.