Has anyone tried CIO?

[Sorbustree123]

Has anyone tried CIO? Baby is happy throughout the day and will go down for daytime naps, drowsy but awake, in own cot (next to me) using the same routine as at bedtime. However, at bedtime, it’s a completely different story with tears for at least an hour. Tried everything we can think of to help the situation, but sadly there has been no improvement and it’s starting to feel like more than just a phase as it has been going on for at least a month. Is there a point where they need the opportunity to work it out for themselves? Or do we just need to push through this (really long) phase? All thoughts welcome.

How old is your baby? If they are still in a next2me they sound pretty little? And do you truly mean CIO (cry it out), ie put them in the cot, shut the door and not come back…or do you mean sleep training more generally? I think you’ll be hard pushed to find many who have done proper CIO.

Controlled crying for us, but we had the same problem. He self settled at naps (since 6 mo) but not bedtime. I gave the sleep training a rest for a long time, but picked it up again at 14 mo at bedtime only. In 3 days he was self settling.

Sorry, no real advice here. Just my experience. Perhaps leave it a couple of months and try again? It was definitely easier for us when my son was slightly older.

A 14 month old is unlikely to be in a next to me.

I don't like CIO at all. CC not under 1 yo.

No. It’s cruel and neglectful. There are many reasons why a baby or toddler may wake up overnight or resist going to bed - we choose to have kids, we don’t put a time line on how long we should offer them comfort and support.

how anybody can listen to their child crying and not comfort them is beyond me

CIO is not really any kind of sleep training method, it just means leaving your baby alone regardless of whether they're crying, upset whatever. Until they learn that there's no point crying and give up.

Controlled crying is at least a method for sleep training, but if your baby is little then it's not suitable.

Presumably you've tried other methods like gradual retreat, or shush-pat, or pick up put down?

Is there a point where they need the opportunity to work it out for themselves?
No, I don’t think so. Letting a baby cry themselves to sleep is batshit crazy IMO. I decided to “sleep train” my twins at nap time because they were both getting so upset and emotional waiting while I soothed the other one to sleep. So all I did was introduce a nap time routine (so they knew was was coming) and let them both cry in their cots for a timed two minutes before I went back in and rocked them (for as long as I could before the other one got hysterical). The longest they were ever left to cry was 2 minutes. That’s about as much as “working it out for themselves” and I could give them.

Or do we just need to push through this (really long) phase?
No to this too. There are always some things you can try. Things to tweak. Depends how old baby is.

Sleep training (moderate version of Ferber) is great, CIO isn't and is cruel (where you just close the door and leave them forever). Please don't do this.

I have - baby cried for 48 minutes and it was done. He is now a much happier baby because he gets an appropriate amount of day & night sleep and isn’t an overtired mess.

I’m sure there are a few babies who feel ‘reassured by intermittent parental presence’ or whatever, but I think they’re the real minority and most babies just find it a distracting and confusing. If you have the steel for CIO then do, if not, try one of the ‘no cry’ methods (just be aware they take ages!) But Ferber is just a version of CIO to make parents feel better about themselves but, in reality, takes way longer so results in more crying.

At the end of the day, all methods of sleep training work, some just take longer than others and the only ‘right’ one is just the one that YOU can be most consistent with.