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Older father syndrome

3 replies

BarchesterTowels · 01/07/2023 20:13

Hello, I've not posted on Mumsnet before but have found it the most sensible place on the internet for parenting advice so I hope you'll be kind to a newbie...

At the advanced age of 48 I find myself a first time father of a lovely little boy, now 16 months, and more unexpectedly a SAHH. My wife works long hours, and I'm at home with my son four days a week (he's at nursery the other one). I love looking after him, the childcare isn't a problem, but I'm finding myself getting desperate for some more adult interaction. I take my son to a couple of playgroups, and he gets a lot out of them, but all the other parents are much younger mums and quite naturally they're more interested in befriending people their own age. The antenatal group we went to was the same - all the dads work and all the mums are in their twenties, and we just don't have that much in common. My own friends have school age children and work full-time, so it's not as if I can meet up with them during the week.

Being so heavily involved in my son's development is massively rewarding, but I never expected it to be so lonely! Does anybody have any suggestions for how to improve my social life? I look at the young mums in the cafes with all their friends and babies and feel so sad and envious.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MissChanandlerB0NG · 01/07/2023 20:23

Congratulations on your DS!

It can be very lonely when you spend so much time alone with your DC. I know many mums who are incredibly lonely and many don't find a decent friendship group of other mums. It's a struggle!

My mum is 53 and she is a GM, she takes my DS out to a local group for grandparents to have playdates/playgroup, obviously you may be a little younger than the general group, but a lot of the people she interacts with are around her age up to about 60.

Is this something that you could look out for if you're not having much luck interaction wise in the other playgroups?

Thinkbiglittleone · 01/07/2023 21:01

Have you maybe tried a local Facebook group for stay at home fathers. I'm not on Facebook myself but I do know one of the stay at home fathers we knew, set a little meet up group on there, as he was the same age as the other women but they just didn't really welcome him in to any groups.

Mumof1andacat · 01/07/2023 21:09

Could you work part time and baby go to nursery a couple of days a week? Do you have a hobby to go to for an evening?

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