Childcare for baby and toddler

[PillowMouse]

I've just found out I'm pregnant with my second child, have one DS 18mo. Trying to figure out how this will work for childcare if anyone has any advice?

Current setup is my DH has DS Monday, my mum Tuesday and Weds morning, and nursery Weds afternoon, Thurs and Fri. Have done this since DS was 9mo, before this managed with family help as I went back to work at 12 weeks.

Here are the problems with a second:

• I can take maximum 12 weeks mat leave with my job
• I don't know if my mum will be supportive of me having a second child, I certainly wouldn't push her to have both children on her current days
• I don't particularly want to pull DS out of nursery as he loves it (for a childminder for example)
• Family members that helped with DS have either moved out of the area or returned to work

I can't afford to give up my job (I'm the higher earner). Probably can't afford for DH to give up either, and PT isn't an option for either of us.

Is there any way this could work? The only solution I can see involves my mum being supportive (I haven't told her yet), swapping her current toddler days with caring for a baby (which I think she would hate but maybe I have to ask), putting DS in nursery full time from 2.5 years and putting the 3mo in the same nursery for 2.5 days a week.

Does this sound terrible? I can't get past the guilt of a. Putting a 3mo in nursery and b. Moving DS to full time nursery purely to facilitate a baby. Plus this is all predicated on my mum being supportive, but if she isn't I'd have to do full time for both which is surely too much for a 3mo?

Reluctant to look at a childminder as I feel a lot safer knowing there are multiple staff in a nursery setting, plus even then it would only be for the baby as DS loves his nursery so I couldn't pull him out.

Thanks if you got this far - I'm completely overwhelmed by the whole thing and have gone as far as considering a termination as I just cry when I think about the various options.

Would a nursery even take a baby that young?

I haven't enquired yet (haven't told anyone) but their website says they take from birth and the price range is from 0-2

Why can you only take 12 weeks mat leave? If I were you I'd take 9 months and then put both in nursery. Your son would get some free hours by then too probably

@P0mbears I only get enhanced pay up to 12 weeks, plus I work for a very small company where I'd cause huge issues for the company owner by taking 9 months - I know I'd be protected by law but I'd be completely screwing them. That aside, I don't know that SMP plus DH's wage would cover us with the crazy prices at the moment.

I’m guessing she can only take 12 weeks as her Mat pay then drops to Statutory.
Firstly it will work its self out - it always does in the end and hopefully your mum can support you.
There is no way to sugar coat it but it’s going to be expensive, either in childcare bills or in loss of earnings for your husband if he goes PT. BUT it won’t be forever - but it might be a tough few years. I really would think about nursery for a 3month old - how well is the setting set up for a child of that age? Many aren’t. Will the babies designated key person be on shift to match the baby etc. It’s a shame you can’t put your trust in a childminder - they are often better suited to looking after babies.
Best of luck with it all

I don't know much about this as DH is self employed but is it shared parental leave? Could your DH take that for a year then your eldest will either recieve or be close to receiving their 30 hours at nursery?

I would seriously reconsider taking longer mat leave.

Just one example, but my boss came back to work and put her 6 month old in a nursery. She was constantly off work because her baby was always ill after catching bugs at nursery.

Shared parental leave could work, I hadn't thought about this!

I guess it's basically a conversation with DH that it's either that or a childminder for DC2 only, and if he doesn't want to take the leave he will need to help with finding one (he's a brilliant dad but absolutely terrible at the "admin" side).

The cost of childcare isn't the issue, we could probably pay full time for both if needed by cancelling our mortgage overpayment and making some other adjustments, but this is only possible if I work full time from 12 weeks, hence the dilemma.

Thanks for the responses so far.