How do you repair your relationship with your kids?

[johnd2]

Ok so things don't always go well, old triggers pop up, life happens and sometimes neither kid nor parent covers themselves in glory.
Do you repair your relationship, and if so how often, and how do you do it? Also how old children?

I'll go first - In my case with my nearly 4 year old I do it about 5 times a day (although it should be more like 10) and it's just a cuddle and apologies that may or may not be accepted and maybe a quick chat about difficult feelings on both sides.

Thanks some really helpful replies there, just to be clear I'm aware that neither myself or anyone else is a perfect parent, and no two people have a perfect relationship, however I'd like to improve both.
This post is specifically about ideas how to strengthen the relationships rather than working on my own triggers etc. But all comments are useful

This post is specifically about ideas how to strengthen the relationships rather than working on my own triggers etc.

OP you need to work on your own triggers so you aren't triggered by your child's normal behaviour and can parent appropriately so you aren't apologising all the time.

If you’re apologising for something that doesn’t actually warrant an apology (eg breaking a toddlers normal but also irrational rules about where to put a toy) then name and acknowledge their feelings and that those feelings are hard for them but don’t apologise.

If you find yourself inconsistently punishing your child or using force, particularly if you’re doing so because your own feelings are not in your control, I would advise getting some extra support. It’s hard for a child to feel safe and learn how to behave when their parents aren’t consistent or their responses are unclear or frightening, and that means they’re likely to keep behaving in ways that will trigger you. You clearly care about doing this right for your child or you wouldn’t be asking. I’d recommend you get some external support (ie therapy) to help with your triggers as it is very unlikely to improve just by telling yourself when not triggered that you will do better next time.