Wasnt too sure whether to post this or not, it's a long time since I have needed advice from mumsnet!
I have 2 beautiful DC, a 5 year old DD and a 4 week old DS. For context I struggled quite badly with PPA/PPD after the birth of my daughter and this is constantly at the back of my mind as I navigate life with a newborn!
My DS was very settled/sleepy for the first 3 weeks of his life. He did not go down in his moses basket (or anything!) and would only sleep on me but I could cope with the cuddles and feeding. I should say though that he wouldn't go down in his moses basket because the second he went on he would pull his knees up and wriggle and wake himself up. There was no crying though.
Fast forward to the last week....DS has woken up a bit and spends ALL his awake time screaming. Constantly. There is cery little that calms him down once he goes other than bouncing him back to sleep. There seems to be no obvious reason for this as he is fed, nappy clean, happens after he has had long contact naps so shouldn't be tired.
I am wondering about silent reflux as he doesn't like going down on his back still, we hear a lot of swallowing/gulping and can hear things going back down his throat, he is very bubbly at the mouth and obviously the severe crying. There are times though when he is happy on his back e.g. nappy change and he isn't refusing feeds. Happily gaining weight too. We have been to the gp to speak about something else and they have given us some infant gaviscon but no obvious improvement so far.
I guess what I am asking is how do I if it could be silent reflux? I am not keen on medicating him unless I need to but obviously want to help him if I can as the crying is very intense and although I feel okish at the moment I am aware that unsettled babies and refluxy babies are big contributory factors to PND and am very keen not to go down that path again, particularly as I have such a wonderful 5 year old who I do not want to see me in a state.
I do have lots of support with a wonderful husband who works from home and family who live close by. My mum and dad were fab with my PND the first time round but my dad is currently fighting prostate cancer and so they are not as available to help give me relief from the crying as they otherwise might have been.
I am trying my best to keep it together for everyone around me but must admit to be struggling a bit. Managed the school run this morning but was terrified DS would kick off the whole way there and back (he did a bit but cried himself to sleep) and I am worried about the amount DS sleeps- all I seem to do is feed him and then bounce him back to sleep after he kicks off. Very little interaction or play/tummy time etc.
Finally I am so confused as to when he is hungry. Every time he wakes up he is screaming so we offer him a bottle (had to stop bfing due to him not latching after tongue tie was cut) but he's not always hungry and might take the whole bottle, might only take an ounce but other than that no feeding cues. If he's asleep on me he would quite happily sleep past the 3 to 4hour window and still doesn't really seem to wake to feed, it's often bcoz I'm moving him or trying to put him down that he wakes.
My daughter was equally unsettled so I know it does pass but do I just wait it out and risk my metal health plummeting or do I seek further advice from GP or HV?
Any help would be massively appreciated 🙏