Grandparents involvement

[Peanutbutteryday]

Hello! i am after some wisdom and helpful suggestions please. I am not after any sarcastic comments as I am trying to do what is best for my Dc but given I am a new parent I am lacking in experience with wider family relationships.

I have one Dc who is 8 months. I am on Mat leave and I live a 30 minute walk or one bus ride from mil and fil.

I really want my Dc to have a good relationship with both sets of grandparents (my parents visit once a week which is great). I am struggling with mil and fil. They don’t ever ask after Dc, nor do they ask to visit. I regularily said early on please let me know if you want to come visit Dc we are around. Repeatedly. Friendly. They never asked to. When it became apparent they weren’t going to ask, I have then started asking if they are free X date to meet for a coffee, pop in, me to pop round with Dc. They always agree, and we have done a mixture of the three. They seem to enjoy the meets?? But they only happen when initiated by me. Is this normal? I barely have energy to organise me and Dc, let alone remembering to actively text mil and fil. I really would like Dc to have a good relationship with them (hence me initiating). Am I expecting too much for mil and fil to initiate meets, especially when I’m always so clear? (Ie “pls let me know when you like to meet we are always around”). I’d love to know any suggestions to broach the subject, or whether actually the general concensus is that it is for me to initiative.

For the avoidance of doubt, I am Not after baby sitting or child care (I have secured a good nursery for my return to work and me and DH are happy with take outs as date nights). I have never once asked or implied I want baby sitting support. I simply would like my Dc to have a good relationship with grandparents.

I wonder if they have read some of the many MN threads where "in-laws" are wrong, whatever they do.
Or one of the myriad of MN threads where posters go into some sort of meltdown if their in-laws dare to call round when their ds isn't there, or - even worse - pop in because they are passing.

Did you see much of them before having your little one ?
Do you invite them round when your dh is there?
Does he invite them round, or initiate taking the baby round to them ?

Has he, separately, said to his parents that Peanut would genuinely like to see you most weeks - she really means the invitations. ?

@UsingChangeofName thank you. I slept on your helpful questions. Thank you it was some food for thought.

I think I’m going to put my DH more in charge of visits his side of the family. I feel I have been quite vocal to DH before that I’m always happy to go to his parents on a weekend as much or as little as he or they wants (baby ebf so has to go where I am really) but it never materialises. I think I will be exceptionally clear to DH again that it’s his responsibility to develop relationship with family members his side and I’m not ever going to say no if he suggests “let’s take Dc round to mums this Sunday morning” for example.