DS still waking in the night for bottle feeds, 19m!

[Newperson4]

Hugely embarrassed that yes, he is almost 20m old and we are still bottle feeding him at 7pm / 2am and sometimes even 5am too 🥹 but its the ONLY thing that makes him sleep and my god we have tried to hold off and he can scream for hours and hours.

I’m worried about his teeth, because although we brush them thoroughly he sucks the bottle in his cot until he falls asleep afterwards.

Please no judgement, but how do we break this sleep association? We are both so run down from lack of sleep and my son is a terror all day because he is tired.

ANY advice very much appreciated. 🙏

Mine both woke for a bf at that age my first woke repeatedly. Best advice came from the dietitian for first child. Make sure they have enough calorie dense food during the day but have reasonable gaps in between meals otherwise they want food all the time including at night.
I offered an Ella’s pouch of something savoury at about 10pm then he had less milk when I fed him but was fuller for longer so slept longer. I think the pouch at bedtime lasted about 6 weeks and then was gradually dropped. He did then sleep until 5 am

Mine, now 23, had 3 or 4 bottles through the night until 4 , swapped around 2 to a non spill cup so could self administer. Literally drank all night. No toilet issues. .. No fillings and when recently had an X-ray for shoulder accident was asked if was athlete. Bone density v good. I stopped telling people about the milk. Without the milk, wouldn’t sleep.

Following. My 19month old wakes 5+ times a night for a bf and I'm so tired and so over it now.

I bf but from 8 months I only offered water in a bottle for all feeds before 2am…it stopped all the waking! If you’ve fed enough in the day, can you try to fob him off with water in a bottle??

Mine did until age 2, when i started diluting with water at night - try it!

Also, why embarrassed? Forget all the stuff you're "supposed " to do according to XXXX. Only you know your situation and child. Listen to your gut

Can you gradually reduce the amount of milk in each bottle? Or what about something like the 'dummy fairy' but for bottles? Tell your DS that the fairy will come and take the bottles and leave him a special surprise. Make it a big exciting thing. Countdown the days and talk about it everyday. Then he can be involved in putting the bottles in a special box and saying bye to them. Give him a special present from the fairy in exchange and from then on switch to a sippy cup of water.

Can you give the 7pm bottle downstairs, not in bedroom, so he is full but to break the association between bottle and sleep?
I think, as others suggested, giving a supper before bedtime at this age could help, some toast or something carby to help fill him up.

Have you tried offering water? I tried it one night, she drank some and went back to sleep. Never gave milk overnight again. Much better for teeth and you can just leave it in the cot all night so they can help themselves (I think? Not sure what age this would be safe from?)

PS mine still had bedtime milk in a bottle til 3.5 😬 then I just ‘forgot’ the bottle one holiday and she switched to a cup and then a few months later basically stopped milk at bedtime.

He doesn't really need night feeds at this age. I would make sur he eats enough in the day, give a snack and milk before bed and then just offer water at night if he needs a drink. Maybe try some gentle sleep training?