Hi all
I think I'm hitting perimenopause, woke at 4.45 this morning and (probably over)thinking about my reactions to my DS 9, nearly 10, yesterday in particular but also in general. Feeling rather teary.
I can be very snappy in the moment, always fleeting and with an apology afterwards but I just feel so shit about it.
I have a DS7 too and live with DH which can be the cause of some underlying stress/anger as I definitely take on the vast majority of the home and parenting load leaving me overwhelmed, and I know I shout at the wrong person sometimes. Not that I should be shouting at all but I do show lots of love and affection as well.
Yesterday was actually a nice day, we went out as a family, had a generally good time and I got out for a dog walk alone in the evening.
There were still 3 occasions, the main one being at bedtime when I list my patience and snapped, "oh FFS, just leave it" type reactions. I do always talk to him about emotions but he's a very sensitive child and I just worry I'm affecting his self esteem.
Younger DS is a very strong, stubborn character and any reactions are barely registered by him but my older one is much more likely to take things to heart. I know I wouldn't talk in the same way to friends or my DH so desperately want to stop doing it with DS, particularly as he's getting older.
I've always been like it a bit but I do think it's getting more intense with hormones and I need to consider what to do as I've not reacted well to the pill etc in the past so I'm worried about HRT. Considering antidepressants but my mood overall is generally very good. Has anyone experienced similar and navigated successfully?