Son struggling to recall letters of the alphabet

[MayBe6]

My son is 5, been in reception for almost a year now- we’ve just tried reading his book from school and it’s so frustrating (for me as I’m hot and bothered) and for him because he struggles. He can’t recall all of the letters of the alphabet so trying to form them together to make a word is really taxing, it’s hard to know how to help him, my daughter found learning to read really easy so this is a learning curve for me. Any help or suggestions of things we can try would be great.

He is only 5 and children learn different things at different times/speeds. My DD1 read very quickly but DD2 was over 6 before she started to get the hang of it. Both are intelligent adults now. Don't push your DS. He will get it eventually.

Go back to basics and make letter formation fun.

Shaving foam, cornflour and water etc and write the letters in them.

Use magnetic letters to spell peoples names etc.

Make it all a shame and immerse him in the sounds and recognition.

Children all learn and retain phonics at different rates.

If he's struggling you risk making him lose a love of reading. Make him love letters and what they can do through play.

But most importantly don't stress. He's still only 5!

Game not shame. That was a bad typo 🫣

Poor kids are pressurised so young 😔 He is 5. I couldn’t agree more with the poster who says make it fun.

By the way, are you using the letter sounds rather than names? Just the way you say he can’t recognise letters of the alphabet. If he’s the level I think he is (similar to my son) he’s sounding out CVC words like “cat”. So it’s cc ah ttt rather than C A T.

Thank you for your kind reply, I feel a bit of pressure from the school to get through these books, it’s tough to try and step back sometimes and remember he’s only 5!

I second Brutus, phonics is by far the best method. Use the letter sounds, get foam plastic letters to play with in the bath, magnetic letters for the fridge, an alphabet frieze for his bedroom wall. I did this with my DD who was reading at 2, fluent at 3, and had a reading age of 12 in reception class. It’s so much easier than memorising 26 unrelated names for the letters.

Thank you, yes we do it by sounding out - I know I need to remember he’s 5 but it all seems so pressured and I don’t want him to lose a love for reading before he’s even got started, I love reading and it’s such an important skill. All of the suggestions are great thanks so much.

Just thought I’d pop on here and tell you about my DS. When he was in reception he really struggled. The teachers were really good and took him out for intervention groups most days but by the end of reception he was still on the most basic books with one word per page. He’s in year 4 now (bearing in mind we had covid in year 1/2) and is currently reading Harry Potter! In year 2 he just suddenly clicked and could read everything! Some really do get it later than others but they all get there in the end!

@Libmama thats reassuring to me, too, so thank you!

@MayBe6 I told my son’s reception teacher that I wasn’t going to pressure him to read. He adores books and it’s just as important at this young age to read to him, books that are way higher than his own ability. Mine loves books but as soon as he gets stressed with reading his own, we stop. Like you, I don’t want him to lose his love for books.

If he was in some other European countries he would not even be in school yet.

Do not feel pressured by the school to flog this with him. Read TO him, make it fun. Now and again you can say - hey there are two of those same words on this page - can you find the other one? I like words with two oo's - they make an oo sound - can you find a word like that? Just a little bit of commenting on the words, and lots of just reading to him.

Let the school teach him to read - you teach him that reading is fun.

I know other posters are trying to be reassuring - and he may just get it before long - but I would be worried about him falling behind in year 1. The school shouldn’t be making you feel under pressure, they should be telling you what interventions he needs to get up to speed and putting them in place. I wouldn’t just leave it personally

My daughter was the same, she left primary school with a reading age of 16 1/2.

Do you know which phonics stage he is at? Phonics (IME) is taught in a specific order. I imagine he has been exposed to most of the sounds by now but it might be worth concentrating on the earlier sounds.

As others have said, make it fun and read lots and lots. Does he know any tricky words (common exception words)?

What phonics scheme is school using?
DD's school used Read Write Inc and I bought the flash cards for it.
I made a post box from a cereal box, and we would play with a subset of the cards, and she could post in the ones she knew. Once she was reasonably secure we added in more.
We also made card with simple object names like cat dog tray and made a game of reading the card (or me sounding it out) and her finding the object.

The main thing is keep up the practice over the 6 weeks summer holidays, just a little bit every day.

My son struggled with learning to read but we got there in the end. He's 12 now and loves reading. Learn phonics, teach him the alphabet song. Read to him as much as you can. I used to use bath letters, magnetic letters, and incorporate with play. Even looking at signs while out and about and labels in supermarkets. Also subtitles on the TV. He had extra guided reading at school.

Don't feel pressured, it's not a competition. Schools want parents to support them and that is what you are doing. He's only 5!

I too had a late reader. He was in the 'needs extra help group' in reception and year 1 and then suddenly it clicked in year 2.

Phonics does not work equally well for all children. I'd be supplementing the phonics with a whole word approach. Google 100 most common English words and make word cards (flash cards) of the first ten. Make two sets so that you can play pairs games, matching, etc etc. When he knows these add five more etc. Can also make a bingo game of them or make mini books with simple repetative sentences in, one on each page, that are about him that he draws the pictures for, e.g. Billy went to the shops, Billy went to the park, Billy went swimming, Billy went to Granny's house. Once he's learnt this make another book with other key words. I used to be an infant teacher and have many years of experience in special ed. Daily practice for ten minutes each day can really help. Also keep reading lovely picture books to him so that reading is still fun.

I am not an expert.

However from reading on here over the years I have formed the impression that it is too soon to move away from a pure phonics approach. I think you need to give it longer.

I feel your pain op. We've spent on and off all day trying to learn 4 sounds and ds still can't recite them. Its incredibly frustrating.

It's tough when you feel under pressure.

Take it out of context - don't worry about the school books. Lots of little, low pressure exposure.

My kids loved alphablocks - it's very simple and episodes are only a couple of minutes long. Available on iplayer.

There's a free online game that mine loved - Teach your monster to read. Lots of little letter recognition games. Again, very short so you don't need to do it long, but with lots of practice and praise.

Magnets on the fridge - get 2sets and do matching games - "find me one the same. Well done! What sound do they make?". Very gradually build it up with 2 letter words e.g. "up", "it", "in", "on". That gets the idea of blending without it being quite as daunting as CVC (although of course if he's doing well you can throw in some of those".

Write it out and get him to say the latter sounds as you write them - some find this less daunting than being presented with a whole word.

Make it tactile - jelly, foam, ice..... Again, focus on matching and sounding - "find me the one that says mmmmm".

Above all, don't stress! Keep these activities totally separate from just reading books to him for fun. That way you don't risk spoiling reading for enjoyment.

Some kids get phonics.

Some don't but recognise words as patterns. I've some video of my DD, now 30, recognising her name at 2+.

My Mother was a wise old bird at teaching kids with what we now call learning difficulties to read.

You have to mix/match with what works for individual children.

Those who say (synthetic) phonics are the answer to everything need a sharp knee where it hurts!!

My son was 5 and learning to read during the first lockdown. Our school recommended a website or app called Teach Your Monster To Read. It makes it a game you progress through and my ds really liked it. That said his reading was much, much slower than my eldest. She was reading pretty easily partway through reception and went on to read constantly. My son was slower to get the basics overall, saw it as a chore for a long time and only clicked with reading and wanting to read books on his own at the age of 7. Now he is also reading constantly. So try not to worry about your ds.

Is it you or the school pressuring him OP? Schools usually just ask you to read with your child every day. You don’t need to be teaching him phonics or letter formation. Don’t pressure him. Just help him out by prompting him if he gets stuck or read it to him.