Enjoying time with your kids

[Led921900]

I feel like my mind is elsewhere when I’m with the kids… a room needs tidying, laundry needs doing, a meal needs prepping.. something on bbc news website about Russia etc etc.

I’m not in the moment with my children and I want to be.

How do you enjoy time with your kids?
mine are 5, 2 and 8 months so obviously a lot revolves around meeting their basic needs! But I feel like I’m ‘missing it’… I can’t really remember my 5 year old as a baby or toddler!

A nice walk to the park and then stay for a hour or 2 and then walk back home paper and crayons for the older ones stickers or chalks

I don’t have any advice but I know exactly how you feel and I think it can be quite normal. I try and be more “present” but I never really am. I feel like time is just passing by and I’m not soaking it all in. My mind is always elsewhere on the next thing I need to do.

I used to go outside every day. Great for them and great for you.
Just to local park, or to the free craft sessions or story sessions at the library, or to a different park / green space or feed the ducks. Near us there is a field with horses. A short dirve away there was a litel charity urban farm place with a few chickens and one cow and a couple of goats we'd visit. Another park had a tiny stream you could paddle in. etc etc.

Lucky enough to have a car and live in a beautiful green City so lots of different green spaces to visit.

Sometimes a picnic, but often not. Sometimes meet someone else there, but often not. Sometimes go on a trip to visit a free museum or something. Attend things like firs station open days. The carnivals or Fetes in local parks etc.

I think, at home, I'm tending to think "I ought to be doing ....insert household job", but when I'm out, I can't, so everything is about looking after them.

Sorry I’m sure this is well meaning but I’m fairly certain the OP already takes her kids to the park and has colouring and stickers. That doesn’t really solve the problem?

I try to put my phone away so that I’m not tempted to mentally “be” somewhere else by logging into Instagram or MN or whatever. That does help. I also try to only use the tv as a conscious choice when I’m trying to do a particular job and not just have it on as background noise.

I also sometimes do a weird thing where I look at a tiny part of one of my kids like their eyelashes or fingernails or something 😂 sounds bizarre but it does help you to feel present and not distracted by the millions of things to do. Just watch them play in a really mindful way, it’s quite absorbing.

Oh and also take your massive list of things that need doing and give half to your DH. That helps 😬

I agree with getting out of the house, and especially more scheduled/guided events with structured activities. In the park or wandering in a museum it's easy to get distracted by your phone. At home you'll always be distracted by chores. We spend every weekend doing family stuff out the house including parent&child classes, museum activity days, swimming, indoor play areas, attractions, plays. Some things cost money but lots of free stuff too where we are. We prep a packed lunch every night so don't have to worry about prepping lunch or buying it during the day. Dinner is prepped and cooked the night before and reheated so we don't have to get home in time to make dinner, so can spend more time out.

We get our chores done in the evening when the dc are in bed, or when they are in school, so that means they are done and we can spend their waking hours focused in them. Meal prep done at night. Have a schedule for doing chores so the jobs have time allocated for them, then they don't eat into your children's time.

Not remembering your eldest as a baby or toddler isn’t because you weren’t paying attention, life with three children is so busy and moves so fast that it is hard to remember them. But I know what you mean about your mind being elsewhere. I find that happens when I’m in the house and can see various jobs I want to get too. So I’ve always focused on getting out of the house and giving them my full attention when we’re out and about, or walking around. And also, if they’re amenable (which my middle one wasn’t) having them ‘help’ with things like changing beds, so I get some jobs done and we chat as we go.