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Parenting

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I hate being the baddie

1 reply

Globules · 23/06/2023 20:24

XH and I split 3 years ago.

He didn't have any space for his 2 children to stay with him for over 2 years while he rented a single room. Saw them intermittently for dinner every few weeks or so.

He then bought a 2 bed property, so DS 19 only stays with him every other week.

DD (17) is with me full time. She used to hate me, hit me, hurt me for all the crap she was feeling. It's got better over time, but nights like tonight where she blames me for how crap she feels about her life still really sting. She sees her dad about once every 4 months for an afternoon or so on her wishes. He doesn't push to see her anymore than that. He was the daddy on a pedestal in her eyes all her life, so the divorce hit her hard.

My head knows I'm her safe place and I get all the flack because she knows I'm never going anywhere.

My heart finds it so hard to put up with the things she throws my way.

XH cheated over 10 years. I forgave him twice, for the sake of the kids. Couldn't do it a third time.

I'm so fed up of being the baddie in her eyes. And the vitriol thrown my way constantly by her.

Just me?

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 23/06/2023 20:27

does she know why you split?

i think she’s old enough to have a conversation admit the impact her behaviour has on you. Not a moan but approached in a “what do you need from me to help you so we can improve our relationship and move forward as you’re growing up and I hope we can be close through your adult years” type approach.

Not to have that when emotions are high but once things are calm over coffee and cake in a café.

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