Struggling to chose a nursery

[daisydays88]

There are 3 nurseries I am considering for my 2 year old and I'm really struggling to decide between them.

One is a Montessori, one is a normal day nursery, and one is a school nursery which leads to the first school (the school nursery takes from aged 2.. but is also out of our catchment so may not get a place there)

What things did you consider when choosing your nursery? Anything you wish you'd thought of before they started?

I am a terrible decision maker and often regret decisions I make. As this is such a huge decision for my little one I feel almost paralysed with the thought of making the wrong decision.

Thank you for your help.

Have you visited them?

Ask about time spent outdoors. Especially if your DC will spend a lot of time there, fresh air and outside play are hugely valuable. All of them will say 'oh yes, we spend tons of time outside' but look for clues like the preschool room having a door to the garden that is permanently open so the kids can go outside as they please, and other clues like a nature table, whether the staff look energetic etc.

DD's first nursery had fabulous staff in the first room she was in; all of them lovely, enthusiastic, got on well with each other. After that though the staff in the other rooms were much more lethargic and didn't bother going outside, probably because of the faff of getting 20 kids ready to go out or whatever and DD very quickly became less happy.

I moved her to a different nursery where more of the staff were themselves parents, or had worked in other primary education settings and were just generally more mature and the difference was enormous. Everyone pulled their weight to make a happy place full of activity and the kids all loved it.

Visit them and get a feel for them

Agree with PP about time outdoors (if that's important to you) at DDs nursery they have a big shared garden but each room also has its own outdoor access with the doors left open much of the year for 'free flow' in and out, even the baby room.

Checkout the Ofsted reports

And if still in doubt, choose the one that's closest to you, I love being able to walk to Dd's nursery rather than load her and everything in and out of the car.

Ultimately it's somewhere they go to play all day, it's not that monumental and most children have a great time wherever they go.

I decided based on the visit and the hours.

I needed 8am - 6pm so any nursery that couldn't facilitate that was ruled out immediately.

Then I did tours, the one I liked the most didn't need me to book I just showed up and was shown around, I liked that they didn't feel they needed a specific person to do the tour or to prepare.

The kids looked happy, and delightfully mucky from playing and having fun. There were plenty of staff around to allow the kids free flow to do whichever activity they wanted inside or out. When a child got upset they went straight to a staff member for comfort which let me know that they knew they would get comfort. There was a good range of stuff for them to do, as well as a quiet corner and a sleep room where they could go for a nap and they were child led so there were some kids having a sleep while others were playing in another room.

The nursery I didnt like was too quiet and tidy. 1 child with a reasonable number of toys in my living room is loud and messy so how did a nursery keep 30+ kids quiet and not have toys all over the floor? It felt regimented and clinical.

It worked out well and DD is now a very happy, confident and well adjusted 9yo. Communication with the nursery wasn't always brilliant, I didn't know exactly what she'd eaten every day or how many nappies she'd pooed in, she often came home looking like she'd lost a fight with a bottle of paint, but she also always finished the day smiling, with red cheeks from running about, she still remembers her key worker and has fond memories of the friends she made and she started school able to read, write, count, dress herself.... they were also brilliant at helping with potty training and all the other milestones.

Agree that hours and gut feeling are important.

The other thing I would ask about is staff turnover. You don't want a nursery that constantly has new people coming in all the time. Ideally you want a core group that have been working there for years. (This is not always possible). But the longer the staff stay, the better they work together, the more chance the management is good. And it's better for the children to build relationships. This is probably the most important thing after the basics like location, affordability, hours. It doesn't matter how much space they have or what fancy activities they offer or what the ethos supposedly is, if the staff are changing every 6-12 months.

Thank you for your responses. Some really useful points.

Do you think there is any benefits to a Montessori nursery?

The Montessori one also doesn't have any Ofstead reports so it's difficult to assess. It has been around for a number of years so I'm not sure why it hasn't been graded.

And how about nurseries that lead into a school? Aside from the benefit of the children knowing the school when they start reception, any other benefits to these?

Thank you

It doesn't matter a single bit. I know what you mean because I used to be very enticed by the lovely Montessori ideas and I do think they are good, but there is no official protection of the name, so being called Montessori doesn't necessarily mean that the nursery staff are trained in Montessori theory. It might just mean that they have a lot of child sized shelving and wooden toys.

Staff turnover and gut feel are more important than a sticker name of any kind of ideology. Go and visit them and see what you feel about the interactions of staff with children, about the general environment of the nursery, about how the children seem to be, rather than any feelings you might have about Montessori.

Sometimes the school linked ones follow school term dates, if that would be a problem for you. Ask about their holidays.

Montessori or not...I would not send my DD to a nursery that wasn't Ofsted registered.

I expect, other than any difference you notice when visiting, a nursery attached to a school might have different funding (local authority?) which might impact facilities, and less flexible opening hours. Also check if it's term time only due to being attached to the school.

If the private one is part of a chain you could also Google about that. DD is at a Childbase nursery which recently won one of the best companies to work for. Low staff turn over, and is a partnership - happy staff = happy nursery

Re Montessori, I really wouldn't be swayed one way or the other by this. Many of the Montessori principles will be covered by a good nursery anyway and can also be reinforced at home.

Having experienced having a child not thrive at nursery the No. 1 thing above anything else is that it's a happy place where you will feel confident leaving your child and knowing that they'll have a good day and will be treated kindly and given a variety of activities to enjoy.

Being at a Nursery class in a school, or a separate Nursery on school premises doesn't influence whether the child gets a Reception place - the school have to follow their admissions criteria.

IF (and it is a big if) the Nursery at school has a qualified teacher, then it means they have a much higher ratio of children (1:13 vs 1:8) which means a lot less individual attention, even more so if you have one or more pupils in the group with significant needs who take one of the adult 1:1 a lot of the time, which then leaves the other adult 1:25 ratio.

Check the hours they cover, and if they are term time only or all year round. How does this fit with your work ?

I looked at 14!! Honestly go on your gut feel and where you think your child would fit in. I picked one with a great outdoor area, a smaller one that had a high child/teacher ratio, and smaller meant it had a more chilled vibe, and a lovely head teacher/owner who seemed genuinely interested in my child. I took extra notice of how the other teachers interacted with children. One place I visited, one of the teachers looked miserable which instantly put me off. I also noticed who paid attention to my child, some didn't even ask his name which I didn't see as a very good sign! Location is important too. None will have it all, so it's a matter of weighing up pros and cons. Ultimately it's your gut though.

Totally agree. We went with the nursery we visited and got a good vibe from. It doesn't have fancy apps, sometimes handover is a bit rushed, DD1 often comes home filthy, but she has absolutely thrived there. She genuinely loves the staff, she talks about her key worker a lot, and the staff there know all the kids, even the ones not in their age group. She's so engaged and has made so many friends there. When I picked her up the other day I had to wait for 5 mins while she got a hug from everyone and then they all had a group hug then it was an extended round of goodbyes till we could actually leave the building. God knows how they get them all out of the door!

It's a small nursery, maximum of 30 kids across all age groups, and it's just really warm and nurturing. DD2 is starting there next week too!

I knew almost right away from a visit that it was the right place for her. We'd been to another nursery before and were deciding whether to send her. I felt uneasy about it, it was very well reviewed/inspected and large and organised. It was also the only one available, but then this nursery (which happily was only 5 mins walk from the house too!) ended up having a space and the minute I walked in it felt so so different from the first nursery. I had a little cry on the way home as I felt so relieved about sending DD there!

Oh and on our visit I took DD with me, and they said I could leave her with the other babies while I went to see the facilities. When I came back a few minutes later she was sitting with them all for story time and helping turn the page like she'd always been there!

Firstly, chill out a bit. It's not really that huge a decision! Obviously you want your child to be safe and happy, but the chances are that will happen in all three nurseries. If it doesn't then you change setting, that will happen in a couple of years anyway. You're not making a massive, irreversible, life-changing decision here. Take the pressure off.

Secondly, think about why you're sending her to nursery in the first place. Is it for childcare in which case hours/year round care will be important? Is it for education in which case choosing somewhere that share your education philosophy is important? Is it to make friends/spend time with kids their own age in which case you want to look at numbers and age range/how they group kids/outside space/activities?

In general look for low staff turn over and somewhere that has experienced staff. Look for somewhere that is child (not parent) focussed. Somewhere that has good outside space. If your DC is going to be there for the majority of the week somewhere that offers trips outside of the nursery walls if possible. Ask questions like how they deal with allergies/accidents/first aid etc. What is their policy on sickness. Go for somewhere that gives you a good vibe.

I wouldn't put my child in some where not Ofsted registered so I'd want to check what the situation is with the Montessori one. I think Ofsted is terrible for schools overall but at least there's a mechanism of complaint for concerns around safeguarding.

I picked the nursery that did the hours & days I needed, had a good selection of toys and activities, had staff that seemed kind and nurturing. We've used three nurseries over two children and the one DS is in has the worst outdoor space but the team do great activities with the children outside and take them on trips out whereas DDs last nursery had amazing outdoor space but they never left the premises and only did outdoor "activities" in the final preschool year.

Some really good points again, thank you.

So the Montessori one is Ofstead registered they just haven't had an 'inspection' so I don't know how it is graded... 'good' or 'outstanding' etc. Their email address is a hotmail one! That actually puts me off! Although I have heard good reviews and nothing negative about the nursery from others. Facebook reviews and good reviews seem good. It felt nice when I visited but it's in a church hall so is a little basic. There is outdoor space but not free flowing.

I'll need to visit them all again I think!

I think that some good points have already been made about the school nursery, mainly that they will probably only be open for 33 weeks of the year.

I'd just like to add that you need to do your research on whether there's any chance that she will get into the school if she's out of catchment.

Our local primary has an intake of 30 and I heard that last year they had 90 applications.