Struggling to manage work with 3 kids

[Zombieof3]

Hi all,

Both myself and my partner work full time. I do 9-5 and my partner does shift work including nights.

My kids are 11, 5 and 7. They’re all in different schools for various reasons and this cannot be changed due to the circumstances.

trying to juggle school runs and drops off, then getting them to the childminder. There are so many different things I need to keep up on, homework, sport days, coffee mornings, parents evenings, plus any doctor or hospital appointments for my kids.

I work with young homeless people, work is pretty busy and it’s draining. I love it but by 5 I’m shattered. Today my eldest had transition day and had to go to comp, then I had to pick her up and drop her home, where my partner was meant to give her lunch but due to him doing night shifts and having no sleep, he fell asleep. My 11 year old didn’t get lunch and walked herself to school. I’ve spent hours crying and feeling like a terrible mum over this. My partner is embarrassed by it and can’t believe he fell asleep, he was just so exhausted. My 11 year old was nonplussed and said she wasn’t hungry. I’m mortified and sad, that I failed to sort this out.

I’ve come home, my middle child has head lice, so now I’ve had to do her hair. The house is a mess, the garden is a jungle and I honestly have zero idea how to juggle all of this. We don’t have a support network and I’m trying so hard to keep it together. I can’t afford not to work, we barely able to afford food as it is.

Does anyone have any idea how to juggle this?
please don’t tell me how terrible of a parent I am, I already know that, I can’t cope with much more. Im just useless 😭

I would ask the childminder to do the school runs, and get one who will if they won't.

You aren’t a terrible parent at all. Why is it your fault that your husband fell to sleep?

Your 11 year old is old enough to make a sandwich for lunch but it sounds like she wasn’t hungry anyway.

It sounds like your putting far too much pressure on yourself.

You're absolutely not a terrible parent. Everyone has weeks like this where everything is totally out of control and chaotic. Sounds like you are stretched to the max as it is. But your 11 year old wasn't even bothered so it's all good! I'm sure you are doing fine but maybe you need to look after yourself more so you don't get so stressed out. I don't have any tips I'm afraid. I'm pretty stressed out too and I have 2 kids at the same school. I'm always forgetting bake sales and pe kits and stuff. It's not a big deal tho as long as the kids are happy.

Thank you all, I’m just so depressed right now. Work has been extremely challenging of late and then I come home to mess, tantrums and the joy of cooking dinner.

I used to love being a parent, but now it’s so hard and I feel useless. I’m just so tired and exhausted, I’ve been feeling really low for a while now, just want to be a good mum

It’s not an option sadly, there are barely any childminders and even less with space for three kids. It was hard to find one who will do it and she’s brilliant to be fair