Help, DS (15) has spent 300 quid on in app purchases that our phone company will bill us this week

[Lovelygreenhills]

His phone is linked to my DHs phone. DH spotted this late last night. We both feel sick and haven't slept as we haven't got this amount of money to blow. All receipts went to DSs phone and no alerts to us. DH has a zero spend cap on his phone and DS's phone is linked to his. DS, who is neurodiverse but not formally assessed as waiting on CAHMS list, is very upset but clearly didn't think about the consequences of racking up these costs and where the money would come from. DH is ringing our phone provider today (EE), any tips very welcome to see if we have a leg to stand on to avoid paying this money, I suspect unlikely though.

Doubt you can avoid it, but they might help with a payment plan.

Thanks, I guess it’s worth asking.

Agree it's unlikely but might be more likely to get a reduction or pay in instalments. Hope his phone settings have been changed!

I spent a while last deleting all the apps, haven’t slept a wink

At 15 I doubt they will accept he didn't know or understand and what he was doing, but you can always try.

Get a smarty sim for your kids phone no contract and no overspend as all can be blocked. I pay 8.99 a month for 24 gb and unlimited calls and texts. I’ll never get a mobile contract again after they kept hiking the prices we are all on monthly no contract sims now with smarty.

If your husband has a no extra spend on his contract explore why this happened we got a refund with three years ago when similar happened to us.

My brother did this with X box when we were younger and my parents were fully refunded

Obviously you wouldn't go down a legal route but your son's essentially stolen from you so if they keep the money they're basically profiting from criminal activity

Fingers crossed you get refunded x

Thanks for your responses, have an awful day ahead of me for reasons I won’t go into, so not sure I can handle this too. Feel sick and stupid.

I would pursue this. I would also tell DS that he has to pay you back. Unless his SN involves some form of learning difficulties so he doesn't have capacity to understand what he did he needs to learn. DS1 did similar but we could only get some of it back (he is autistic but has capacity) and he had to sell his games console to cover the costs.

I'll probably be shouted down for this, but I think this is on you...

If you knew he 'doesn't see the world like other people', then why give him access to a device that can rack up charges?... If he's not in that category, then as practically an adult, he should be made to pay it off either with pocket money or chores etc... and if you thought it was serious, you should have had him tested looooong before age 15!

To be honest, I think he knew what he was doing. He's 15, playing games, and those games will have obvious 'spend money to upgrade' options.

I agree with the others, call up and see if they'll waive the charges due to extenuating circumstances.

As DH has a no spend cap and DS's phone is linked to his, I think you do have a leg to stand on OP. Good luck.

Going forward, on an iPhone you can set it so that the child has to ask permission for purchases/downloads. Not sure about android but I expect they have something similar.

Not a helpful reply.

But thank you to everyone else who has provided helpful ideas, really do appreciate it. Will let you know how we get on.

@C1N1C "... and if you thought it was serious, you should have had him tested looooong before age 15"

Yeah - like it's that easy. DD was on the formal waiting list from age 9, got to the top of the list & appointment leading to immediate diagnosis aged 17. That was well before covid / crazy waiting times etc.

The pp obviously doesn't have the funds for a private assessment, so your comments are snide and unhelpful.

And good luck OP x

Thank you @Sadik you are absolutely right and appreciate your comments. We just can’t afford a private assessment and have been engaging with CAHMS since he was 12. Expect it will be a few more years yet. He is getting by and mainly okay and can’t work out if what happened is due to him not being about to think of consequences due to his neurodiversity or has just being very silly and making bad decisions.

@C1N1C Go the fuck away. I’ve seen you write some really unhelpful, weird and sometimes pervy replies on other threads, some deleted.

OP, good luck.

I’m sorry you’re having such a stressful time of it!

unfortunately, I don’t think in app purchases are covered by the no spend cap on EE. Was it through Google play or Apple App Store? I know there is a way of getting a refund through Apple if a child has made unauthorised in app purchases, although I’m not sure if there’s a time limit and how it works with the pay by billing option.

I have found EE customer services very helpful in the past, I hope they are for you today.

It might also be worth seeing if there’s any advice available from Citizens Advice.

Update. Spoken to EE. They have now blocked third party purchases on his phone. Will sort out for my other children too. They said he had opted to pay for these things using the mobile bill rather than his bank card. They won’t refund the money and suggested contacting Apple through Apple support and billing queries. Spoke to a very helpful person at Apple who has put in a request for refund of all paid items over the last month (when he started doing this). This goes into a decision process and will hear back in 48 hours. He said, unsurprisingly, that it is very common. Praying Apple are understanding.

Really appreciate the practical advice and kindness this morning first thing, I was feeling very tearful as I have a difficult day ahead separate to the phone issue, and worrying about my DSs future if he could be so stupid and gullible to have done this and that I should have done more to get him assessed. Your input meant alot.

If you are in a dire financial position where £300 is not affordable regardless of how the charge came about you need to discuss with your son the consequences of his actions on the whole family.

I hope you get your money back.

It's a scary lesson for you to be more in control of the devices your children have and it's great you have now put blocks in place.

Yes agree, we were planning on getting him a new bed in the summer and that will now not happen. Will cancel his pocket money. He has just got a part time job and the salary will now be coming to us.

Happened to a friend and her daughter (albeit quite a bit younger). She ended up having to miss her bill payment (cancelled the direct debit) and then phone them to set up a payment plan. Not advising that as it will tar your credit score but you aren't alone in this happening and its not your fault - her daughter managed to change the payment method !

Hope apple help you out x