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Want to stop BF’ing 1 year old to sleep, but can’t comfort her any other way. HELP!?

6 replies

Mamaro · 20/06/2023 11:13

I’m reaching out because I feel totally stuck. My now nearly 1 YO daughter has been able to self settle since 7 months old (after some help from a wonderful sleep consultant due to 2 hourly wakes and having to feed to sleep/stay latched all night). She’s all of a sudden fighting naps in the day despite being knackered and will fight to crawl down my body to feed. A few times I’ve just gone with it and ended up feeding her to sleep but I really don’t like doing it anymore as I find it hard to unlatch her and she seems to wake after 30 mins if fed to sleep- feels like a real regression. The problem is, she is only truly comforted by BF’ing, we’ve never been able to rock her to sleep. So now she won’t go to sleep in her cot for naps and I am feeling totally touched out having to BF to sleep I’m stuck and feeling full of guilt. I’ve just now tried comforting in every other way (singing, rocking, white noise etc) for a nap but she wasn’t interested and 90mins in, I’ve given up and BF her to sleep. Which I know gives mixed messages which also isn’t helpful…!

I was working towards weaning off BF’ing and she was only having a morning and bedtime feed from me recently and was planning to drop the morning one soon. Now all of a sudden she’s needing it for naps too. Feeling guilty that she doesn’t seem ready to stop BF but I am starting to feel ready. And worried that I am removing her own source of comfort!

Anyone else been through this or could offer any advice? Thank you!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HowdoIleave · 20/06/2023 11:18

Practise ending the feed and taking off the latch when she's content and a bit sleepy and then cuddling her so she can rest her head on you. I used to say that's enough, cuddle in now and eventually I could do this after just a few seconds of feeding and they got the hang of it and cuddled to sleep after a feed.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 20/06/2023 11:24

Hi OP, is she in her own bed or are you also cosleeping?

Mamaro · 20/06/2023 11:30

She’s in her cot in her own room.

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Seasonofthewitch83 · 20/06/2023 11:38

Mamaro · 20/06/2023 11:30

She’s in her cot in her own room.

Well thats half the battle sorted!

My DD dropped to one two hour nap at midday when she was 1 - perhaps it needs adjusting slightly?

I echo PP that feeding her until she is drowsy and pop her off - every few days gradually bring forward the time you unlatch her.

AuntieJune · 20/06/2023 11:45

WIll she sleep in pram or car? I'd break the cycle by not doing cot naps for a bit, get her to sleep that way for a while. Do you have a DP/DH? He does bedtime so she doesn't feed to sleep then. Once feeding to sleep association is stopped (or your milk dries up, if that's what you want) start cot naps again.

UnravellingTheWorld · 20/06/2023 12:45

Feed to drowsy/comfort and put in bed

If an hour has passed and she's still awake, give in that time and feed to sleep.

When she goes to sleep by herself for naps for three days, stop feeding to drowsy and just put her in bed.

Be consistent. You can do this.

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