Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Worried about leaving DD16 on her own for three days

45 replies

SheerLucks · 19/06/2023 22:38

First of all let me say that my first choice is that I stay instead...

We have a dilemma. Our family of four are due to go to a cottage in Dorset with extended family from this Thursday to Sunday. We've been complete numpties and forgotten about what to do about our two cats!

DD16 said a few days ago that she didn't really want to go as she wants to get fit for her upcoming prom after spending months sedentary, either revising for or sitting her GCSEs, which ended last Friday.

DS19 really wants to go and DH really wants me there so thinks the ideal scenario is that DD stays at home as she's not keen anyway. DD is "thinking about it" but I think it's too long and I should stay home instead, but I'm coming up with real resistance from DH and DS!

WWYD?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mtande · 20/06/2023 01:18

Ah, I remember the GCSE summer. My parents and all my friends' parents went on holiday at various times, and we kids moved en masse from house to house as that happened, a massive group of us, like locusts. We were all working but we certainly partied as well. If you're okay with that then fine but it's likely what will happen.

CC4712 · 20/06/2023 01:20

OP- Only you know your daughter best, not randoms on MN! I was left for for a week at 16. I was at school and had a weekend job. I attended both as normal. I proudly did 2 loads of washing, hung them out, put them all away etc- and then realised I hadn't used any detergent! 🙄

If she is sensible, has neighbours, relatives, friends etc nearby to call if needed, I don't see the issue.

If you think she'd have a massive party in your house and invite randoms etc then no- but only you know your DD.

Original poster

SheerLucks · 20/06/2023 01:30

@CC4712 oh gosh that's funny! My DD is a self-confessed OCD introvert, so no worries there!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

16 year olds 19 years old Families General parenting

KingofCats · 20/06/2023 01:35

I think it’s a shame she doesn’t want to join your family holiday - are you ok with not having the holiday together? And I say this as mum of a 16 year old who has been left for a couple of nights before.
Also, no cat in the history of the world has freaked when left with a stranger if that stranger is feeding it, so I do think you have options there!

UnravellingTheWorld · 20/06/2023 07:29

I was definitely left alone for long weekends when I was 15-16. If she's sensible then there's really no reason not to.

FrenchandSaunders · 20/06/2023 07:36

Mmmmm I’d think either a party on the horizon or a boy in the wings, based on my knowledge of leaving teens that age!

SilverPeacock · 20/06/2023 07:45

Sensible DD and nearby trusted contacts I think it’s fine.

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 20/06/2023 07:46

Lamelie · 19/06/2023 22:43

Neighbour comes in and feeds cats surely?

Exactly

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 20/06/2023 07:47

FrenchandSaunders · 20/06/2023 07:36

Mmmmm I’d think either a party on the horizon or a boy in the wings, based on my knowledge of leaving teens that age!

Yep. And based on my own experience too at that age 😁😁

booksandcats22 · 20/06/2023 08:04

LadyJ2023 · 19/06/2023 22:55

I can leave my cats for 4 nights happily. They have 2 large bowls of dry food and water left, 2 litter trays and also a feeder for meat from argos that drops amounts at certain times. Anything over 4 nights my mam will pop the 20mins and sort them. Done it for years with various cats and they get free run of the house as always. Then as soon as I get back litter trays washed and put away as they go back to being able to go out

I would have real concerns about leaving any animal completely unattended for four nights without changing litter tray or making sure their food was ok.

Original poster

SheerLucks · 20/06/2023 08:23

LadyJ2023 · 19/06/2023 22:55

We have a very different relationship with our cats and I couldn't bear to keep them locked indoors with no company for four days. We also change their water twice a day.

OP posts:

EarthlyNightshade · 20/06/2023 08:29

I'd be ok with this but spending three days getting fit is the weirdest excuse.
It's not going to make a lot of difference at this stage if she has been sedentary for so long, and there are surely places to run, swim, do exercise in Dorset.
I'd get a catsitter, and I am not someone who readily leaves the cat.
Could you all go for two nights and then you come back early if you are worried about the cats?

Original poster

SheerLucks · 20/06/2023 08:43

@EarthlyNightshade going for less time would be awkward. One family is already arriving a day late due to work commitments anyway.

My MIL has spent a fortune on this house too, to make up for not being able to come on holiday with us all in August, so I think it's more tactful to go for all three nights with one staying at home, than miss a day.

OP posts:

EarthlyNightshade · 20/06/2023 08:52

SheerLucks · 20/06/2023 08:43

@EarthlyNightshade going for less time would be awkward. One family is already arriving a day late due to work commitments anyway.

Fair enough. We had something similar planned a while back and I was able to use the cat as an excuse to duck out early and spend a couple of blissful days at home!

BungleandGeorge · 20/06/2023 10:19

cat Drinking fountain so they have filtered clean water?
extra litter tray down?
wifi camera indoors to keep an eye on them?
petsitter to go in your house?
if you have 2 cars stagger it, or one get the train down so you’re not all away 3 nights

I’m struggling with not being ok leaving the cats but being fine with leaving the 16 yr old tbh! Surely your MIL wants to
see your daughter? So might prefer a couple of nights with all of you over 3 nights with one missing?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 20/06/2023 10:40

SquigglePigs · 19/06/2023 22:54

I stayed at home with our dog at the same age whilst my parents went away Monday to Friday. I lived both the responsibility and the freedom. You know your DD but I don't see any reason in principle why it wouldn't be fine.

Same here. It was no big deal and this was 40 years ago before mobiles, Ring cameras and the like.

Hbh17 · 20/06/2023 10:49

She's 16! I stayed home alone for a week at that age, and it was long before the days of mobile phones & lots of checking up. She'll be absolutely fine, and she'll love it.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 20/06/2023 11:08

My parents buggered off thousands of miles away for a fortnight when I was just turned 16. I had at least three people I could call on locally if I ran into any issues and if I'd discovered I hated being on my own my grandparents would have come to stay but generally I enjoyed the responsibility and freedom.

BungleandGeorge · 20/06/2023 12:29

My grandparent left school at 14, one lied about age to go
into military service. I’m not sure that means that that can be recommended in general. I don’t personally think an average year 11 has the maturity to do this, it’s all ok until something goes wrong!
presumably if MIL has paid a lot of money to stay in a house with her family, she would actually like to see them? Probably most
of all the grandchildren and I’m not sure that having accepted the offer it’s fair to pull out because of the cats when there are alternatives?

Bumply · 20/06/2023 12:48

Ds2 was home alone for 3 days when he was just coming up to 16.

He had neighbours in the stairwell he could contact and his Dad was an hours drive away.

I knew he wasn't the sort to have parties and he was happy to be on his own. The only trauma he had was when the gerbils got loose

Flip

1 2