Odd Choice of Teacher

[onedayatatime12]

We have just found out my stepson’s teacher for next year, and it is his ex stepdad’s sister. (Very recent break-up last 2 months) and not at all amicable.
Stepson is almost 7 so has some understanding of what has gone on but is understandably very upset about the whole relationship breakdown.

My husband is quite cross that the school have made such a decision. I work in a school and I must say I also find it a very odd choice for the school to have made.

What are everyone’s thoughts on this? Are we being daft or would you feel similarly?

Would the school have a clue about this? I’m a teacher and I don’t know the ins and out of children’s family break-ups and who they are related to. The teacher probably doesn’t advertise her personal life either.

I'm not quite sure I understand the relationship but how would school even know about it?
Surely the school has made a decision about which class she will teach, not individual children?

So the teacher is his (ex)Step-Aunt?
Did he have a good relationship with her - go to family events, she thought of him as a nephew, has known him for a long time etc?
If the relationship is good he might be happy with his “aunty” as teacher. Unless his (ex) step dad has other children in the school he is never going to be there.

Who now?

Also - she doesn’t get to choose which class she teaches. All sorts of reasons go into a school deciding which teacher gets which class and most of the factors would be above this one

Why would the school even know about this vague connection?

So your husband is your stepson's Dad and his ex has now broken up with a new partner, but the now ex-partner's sister is going to be your stepson's class teacher next year. I can see why you would think this is not ideal, but I'm getting the impression that there is a such a critical shortage of teachers that he's frankly lucky to have a permanent member of staff allocated to his class at all. I'm sure she will act professionally.

I am not sure what the issue is? Are you concerned that the ex step father's sister would blame the child on some way? Not sure why this should be the case.

What were the school supposed to do 🤷🏻‍♀️ If he’s 7, he’ll be going into year 3. If she’s the year 3 teacher, are you expecting school to move round all the staff just because of this situation? It’s not like it’s his actual stepdad. They can’t arrange staffing around one child.

Yes essentially his ‘ex’ Aunty. No not worried about her at all but worried my stepson will be confused and upset by the situation. He is understandably upset that contact with his stepdad has been ceased so I’m not sure his Aunty teaching him will help with this transition.

I know that school are aware of the relationship and subsequent break-up.

I disagree that they shouldn’t designate staff to accommodate individual children once other factors have been accommodated for as that is precisely what happens at our school. There are 3 Year 3 teachers so I would have personally thought it would have made more sense for him to have one of the other Year 3 teachers.

The teacher obviously doesn’t see an issue

It would have been helpful if you’d explained that there are 3 year 3 teachers in the school in your original post. Many schools only have 1. In this situation, the school probably could have accommodated putting your stepson with a different teacher, unless there’s any reason such as they’re taught in ability groups

@onedayatatime12

What happened when you talked to the school about it?

It's 3 degrees of separation so probably something the school didn't know and likely doesn't care about. Once you arrange the classes -I imagine a nightmare version of doing a wedding seating plan, probably, crossed with one of those 11+ "Anna likes apples but not bananas and has a blue lunchbox. Billy only likes oranges and his lunchbox is not yellow.." logic puzzles with a sprinkling of horsetrading amongst the teachers "I'll take Biter Billy if you take Potty Mouth Polly who tries to get the other kids to chant "Fuck off Miss" - then I expect they think "right that'll do".

Things start to get a bit hazy at that level.of separation anyway. If it was an amicable breakup would that be ok? Or a bit petty but not Kramer vs Kramer is that OK? Ex's niece rather than sister? Where's the line?

I would think the child will be OK- they would have been used from previous years to "Auntie Kate" being "Miss Wigglesbottom" at school teaching the next class up anyway.

What does your stepson's mother think?

Really? This is a complete non-issue. You clearly have no idea whatsoever about how many factors go into choosing which teacher goes with which class!
Time to back off.