Feeling really low today

[emnoneya]

I have posted on here before about how I'm struggling to adjust to becoming a mum.
Today I have woken up feeling really low and I just can't put my finger on it. My partner gave me a break over the weekend, he took DD out into town and went to visit some colleagues and then went to see family so I could have a day to myself at home. I really enjoyed it, being able to do what I want and not worry about DD. So I can't link it to needing a break. I'm not sleep deprived as she sleeps from 11pm - 5am and DP does the nights at the weekend anyway.
DD is mostly easy to take care of, she only really properly cries if she's hungry and she has a bit of a whinge here and there if she's tired.
DD is 10 weeks old so still doesn't really do much except for smile at us.
I can normally snap myself out of these moods by telling myself it won't be like this forever and she will grow up and become more interactive and fun to be around but that's not cutting it today.
We have a doctors appointment on Wednesday for our mother and baby check so I will mention my mood to them then.
I am just feeling so frustrated with this, my mood has been up and down for so long now and I'm desperate to enjoy my life with my baby but I just don't. I really thought I'd be a great mum and I was so excited to spend every day with her and I'm so disappointed that I'm not enjoying it like I thought I would. DP loves her so much and he loves this life, he says it's the happiest he's ever been. Why don't I feel the same?

You need to get checked out for post-natal depression. I had it after two of my four children were born and needed anti-depressants to manage it. It's really common.

I feel the same. I'm 4 weeks in with my first baby and I'm so unhappy. I feel like my life isn't mine anymore and I'm just existing. I cry most days and it doesn't take much to set me off.

It doesn't help that we had a tricky start, a really tough birth, tongue tie, silent reflux and she doesn't sleep like a baby should, she's awake for 6-7 hours at a time and is always fussy.

I feel like we haven't bonded yet. I didn't feel that instant rush of love everyone talks about, im still waiting for it. When she finally does nap i feel free, but only for a couple of hours and I can't leave the room. It's so hard

It’s a huge adjustment to make when you have a baby. Your life has been turned upside down and your hormones are still all over the place. There are many women that don’t enjoy those first few weeks/months, but I promise it does get better. As PP said though, have a chat to your doctor about how you’re feeling as well.

@emnoneya and @MyPurpleHeart I’m sorry things are tough for you. I have a 10 month old DD and I was so unhappy at the beginning. I went from never having looked at Mumsnet to tearfully searching (literally) every night for threads of people also struggling, to read the comments of those saying it got better. I promised myself that if it ever got better for me I’d repay the favour in case it helped someone else, which is why I’m commenting.

I can honestly say I hated my life for the first 12 weeks of DD’s life. Looking back on it I probably had PND but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell the doctor the truth - I deeply regretted having her (and felt like the worst person in the world for that), I missed my old life, I thought I’d messed up my life, and hers. I also didn’t feel the rush of love at first (but I was prepared for that as none of my friends had either and assured me it was normal). Even when I managed to get time away from the baby / a full night’s sleep I’d feel an impending doom that soon I’d have to be back on it. So I couldn’t ever properly relax.

I can promise you, things get better. Don’t listen to people who say ‘things never get easier, just different’. For me, that is completely wrong. I’m not saying things are particularly easy now but they’re still 1000 easier than the first 12 weeks. At that stage for me, things improved a lot, and then again at 20 weeks, and I keep enjoying it more and more. They interact more, smile, develop their little personalities and the bond develops. You find a new groove. I can honestly say, I now wouldn’t be without DD and actually feel happy which, in the early weeks I didn’t think I ever would.

Definitely mention it at your appointment. That's exactly the kind of issue these checkups are there for.

It's really common to feel this way with a small baby. Your body has been through so much, physically and mentally. Your internal organs have been moved aside, changed size and your hormone system is working on a whole new level! Your body is recovering and rebuilding itself. You've been given massive responsibility for the life of another human, who depends on you for everything and your relationships with family and friends have shifted you into a different world. Added to that, you're probably sleep deprived and constantly listening for sounds from your baby that need immediate responses.

Support and company of other adults is really important at this time. Hopefully you're getting that.

And please be reassured; it does get better.

You've got some wonderful times ahead!

You say you feel you don't have a life. Not surprising, you don't. No baby needs an adult on hand 24/7. Unless, of course, https://www.psycom.net/postpartum-depression-test