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Parenting

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Original poster

Managing toddler and newborn

4 replies

Berklilly · 18/06/2023 15:58

My little girl is just 10 days old and we have an 18 months boy. We are finding it really hard to manage our toddler near the baby, we have tried to introduce her slowly (first for a few minutes whilst he was busy playing or in his bath, then for longer periods of time).
He's definitely getting used to her being in the house, but keep trying to reach out to her and gets very upset when we pull him away.
Just now he started with a few gentle strokes and we were very happy about how nice he was, but he suddenly grabbed her arm, twisted it and refused to let go! He was just about to break her arm when we managed to get him to stop...!
Any advice on how to manage this? We obviously know that he's not doing this to be mean, he doesn't understand and is in a phase where he tried to test us all the time so will tend to do the opposite to what we are telling him.
Do we just keep him away until he's old enough to understand/she is less fragile? Any suggestions on how to get them to interact safely?

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WouldYouLikeYourMuffinButtered · 18/06/2023 16:01

Just keep teaching him. I did leave the baby to sleep upstairs and invested in a baby monitor though.

tableofjelly · 26/06/2023 22:27

I think you just have to keep him away a little until she's a bit older. Maybe let him talk to her but while you hold her and don't have him touch her for more than a few little pats until she's a little bigger.

NaturalStudy · 26/06/2023 22:39

You sound very anxious about him interacting with her and it sounds like he has picked up on this. Try and relax about it and he will probably ignore her more rather than doing things to get a reaction out of you. You are going to make him resent her if you police their interactions too much.

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Babdoc · 26/06/2023 23:09

I had 16 months between my two, and I found a playpen was very useful for keeping them safely apart when I needed to go to the loo or answer the door.
I also cuddled my toddler DD beside me on the sofa while feeding baby, and read her a story to stop her getting bored or resentful. Lots of praise for being a big girl and helping me with baby, such as fetching a clean nappy from the pack.
There was a small amount of jealousy but it soon settled.

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