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Phasing out hand-holding at bedtime

4 replies

koalabearboombox · 18/06/2023 08:24

My almost 2.5yo was always fantastic at bedtime - had a solid routine and never failed to get her in bed for 7pm on dot, shut the door and she'd fall asleep. This all changed at 2 when she suddenly started screaming relentlessly for us when we'd leave the room. She was unwell when it started so we started siting on the chair in her room until she fell asleep, but that gradually ended up being holding her hand through the cot bars which is what we do now every night.

Generally it was quite lovely at first, she tends to falls asleep in 15 mins max, but every now and then it's 30-45 mins of sitting in a dark room. I realise it could be worse, but I also don't want to set myself up for it getting any worse!

I want to get back to being able to put her down and leave the room, but I don't want to rip away the support in a sudden / brutal way.

Does anyone have any tips for how we can do this? I've tried talking to her about mummy and daddy saying goodnight and leaving the room and her going to sleep cuddling his teddy, but struggling to explain it in language that doesn't involve lots of "leaving" "on your own" "mummy will leave the room".

Maybe I'm being too soft...

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CasaMundi · 18/06/2023 08:30

Perhaps I'm a terrible parent but I went with chocolate bribery. 3 chocolate buttons the next day for bedtime with no moaning and not yelling out in the morning until the groclock turns yellow. It works, no tears so I'm happy. Though I do now need to find a way to phase it out so perhaps it's just swapping one problem for another.

hattyhathat · 18/06/2023 08:31

Get the invisible string book

koalabearboombox · 18/06/2023 11:48

@CasaMundi sounds like the kind of thing my DD would respond to!

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koalabearboombox · 18/06/2023 11:48

@hattyhathat not familiar with that book but I will take a look

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